What is a Mail Order Bride?
If you were to take the term “mail order bride” literally you’d be forgiven for thinking you were going to order your future wife from some kind of catalogue, waiting for her to turn up on your doorstep a few weeks later.
The idea of mail order brides is probably far older than you think, dating back to the 1800s when American men and migrants were traveling west across the American frontier to follow tales of gold, vast tracts of land, and unlimited wealth.
Those who did make a success of themselves found that they had no women on the frontier to share their life with. The frontier was a tough place to live, so very few women made the journey. The only choice left open to the frontiersmen was to write to women back east, doing their best to entice them to move to live with them.
These same men placed adverts in newspapers and local churches, with interested women sending them photographs. Letters would be traded between the couple, and, all going well, the woman would make the move to wherever her future husband happened to be living.
Times have moved on, and now the typical mail order bride advertises online to state that she’s looking for a husband, ideally from another country. This isn’t all that different to any online dating site, except the women have made their intentions clear: they’re not looking to date a local loser – they’re far more interested in dating a guy from the western world.
The modern concept of mail order brides involves emails, video chats, and usually an overseas trip or two to meet your potential soulmate in person.
Where to Find a Foreign Bride
Fortunately for you there are lots of ways for you to find the exotic partner of your dreams, many of which you can use from the comfort of your own home. We’re going to take a look at the best places for you to begin your international dating adventure.
International Dating Sites
These sites are the most popular and cost effective way for western men to meet foreign women interested in finding the love of their life. Many dating sites feature women from Russia, Kazakhstan and elsewhere in Eastern Europe. But there are more and more sites appearing featuring potential brides from South America, the Philippines, and other exotic locations.
The issue is that there are so many international dating sites that it can be difficult to figure out which ones are worth your time and money. If you can get a word of mouth referral from somebody else this always helps, but failing that you can check out our list of approved international dating sites here:
Take a Romance Tour
If you’re a bit of a technophobe, or you’d simply prefer to meet women in person first, then you might want to take a look at signing up for a romance tour to the country of your choice. Romance tour operators organize what are basically overseas speed dating sessions, where a group of western men are introduced to dozens of single foreign women at a social event of some kind.
The average romance tour costs about $4,000, but that includes your flights, accommodation and your opportunity to meet dozens of beautiful women who are extremely interested in meeting a guy like you. How successful are romance tours in helping single guys find love? That’s all down to the quality of the agency you use.
Go Visit a Country Where the Women Chase You
You might not feel like a rock star right now as you sit reading this, but we can assure you that there are a number of countries around the world where you’ll feel like a celebrity from the moment you land, right up to the moment you leave.
Why? Well, it’s because western men have been brainwashed into thinking that it’s their sole function in life to chase women, to woo them, impress them and finally convince them to get married. As a man this means you have to do all the work, hoping that you made the right choice, and didn’t put all your effort into a three-legged mule. Western women understand that this is how the dating scene works there, so aren’t shy about treating men like crap.
Now, imagine flipping this scene on its head, waking up in a world where women actually put effort into meeting you, spending time with you, and doing their best to make you the most important part of their lives? Relax guys, you don’t need to wake up in an alternate reality for this to happen – you just need to travel to a country where men are valued, and in demand.
And lucky for you, we just so happen to have a list of the Top 10 countries where the women chase you – it’s called The Hot List and you can find it by clicking on THIS LINK…
If you take a look at Brazil, Costa Rica, Peru, Russia, Latvia, the Philippines, and China for example, you’ll find countries almost overflowing with single women who are family oriented, passionate, loyal, honest caring, and almost everything else you’ve ever wanted in a woman.
Plus, there’s the added bonus that they actually do want to meet you – they’ll go out of their way to do that.
How Much Does a Mail Order Bride Cost?
This is probably the single biggest misconception around international dating – that there’s some kind of fee which changes hands, and then you select the woman of your dreams from a gigantic online vending machine. Nothing could be further from the truth, but that doesn’t mean finding a potential wife in a foreign country isn’t going to cost you anything.
If, for example, you jet off to Thailand on a romance tour, you’re going to drop about $3,000 on a trip that will last between 7 and 10 days. About $1,000 of that will be a fee to the tour company, but the rest will be made up of plane tickets, visas, hotel accommodation, taxis, food and dating money.
Prices for romance tours vary from one country to the next, but they’re rarely cheap. Just remember that with romance tours you tend to get what you pay for, so if the tour costs $250 you can imagine the quality of the women you’re going to be introduced to.
Your other option is to rely on international dating sites, where monthly membership fees vary between free and up to around $80 per month. All of the romancing work is going to be up to you, so the investment here is really in the time and effort you put in to find a few women that you want to travel to meet.
Just beware of any woman on a dating site who asks for money – it doesn’t matter what her reason is for asking, you’ve just met a professional con woman. We’ve seen guys fleeced for thousands of dollars because of a believable sob story, and then they have nothing to show for it except a pile of regret, and an empty bank account
The real cost of dating internationally is paying for your flights to and from international destinations, but if you plan your trip in advance you can save yourself a lot of money by booking your tickets wisely, and allowing for one or two stopovers during your trip.
Your final expense will be arranging for your new girlfriend to move to North America, Europe or Australia to be with you. But then again, can you put a price on love?
What to Expect When You Marry a Foreign Bride
Dating internationally is no different to dating in your own country in that there’s the “honeymoon period” where you’ve just met, and you go through that entire time wearing rose-tinted glasses, seeing only the best in the other person.
The one huge difference with dating foreign women with a view to marriage is that you also have a couple of cultural barriers to overcome. It doesn’t matter how much you love this girl, you have to face the fact that you’re from different countries.
For most guys the first hurdle they face is from within their own families, who aren’t always as accepting of an overseas bride as you might have hoped. Most of this is based on fear of the unknown, so once they meet your wife-to-be they can spend time getting to know her, discovering exactly what made you fall in love with her in the first place.
The actual marriage ceremony is something else to consider. Are you both Christian, or is she Buddhist, Protestant, pagan, atheist or something else? Does she believe in sex before marriage, or is that totally off limits until you’re officially hitched? These are all questions you need to ask yourself when you’re thinking about marrying a woman from a culture that is foreign to you.
Homesickness is something a lot of western guys forget about. Sure, she’s in love with you, but she’s uprooted herself and traveled several thousand miles to be with you. She’s left her entire family behind, her job, and all of her friends. That’s a tough thing to do, so maybe plan ahead for how you can make this easier on her when she finally moves to be with you?
Worried about there being a speedy marriage, but an even quicker divorce afterwards? Don’t be – if you’ve paid attention to the information we’ve shared with you then you’ll have selected a girl who loves you for you, and nothing else.
Plus, most foreign brides don’t believe in getting divorced at the first sign that wedded life won’t be paved with gold and rose petals. In fact, they’re far more likely to work with you to make your marriage a success than any western woman.
Stay in Her Country or Bring Her Home?
The traditional model for international dating is as follows:
Boy meets foreign girl. Boy travels to meet girl. They fall in love. Girl then travels back to live with boy in his country of origin.
To be honest, this is still how international dating works for most guys, and if that’s what you’re happy with, then you go right ahead. It does make sense to build a life together on home turf with your new bride, where everything is more familiar. You have access to a lifestyle and financial resources that she could never hope to have in her own country.
But then again, with the current economic climate in most western countries, do you really want to be where you’re living right now? Crime statistics are terrifying, there’s a new drug on the streets every other week, and then there’s the militarization of Europe and saber-rattling from China and Russia.
So, for right now you’re living the dream, but that dream might not provide the future you’re expecting.
Even outside of all the worries the world has right now, there are plenty of other reasons you might want to consider moving to your wife’s home country. If you look at the financial aspect of things you’ll find most countries like Thailand, Vietnam, the Philippines, and most countries in South America, are far cheaper to live in. So instead of needing $2,500 a month to pay for your rented apartment, you might only need to spend $500 instead.
Imagine living in a foreign country, enjoying the exact same quality of life you have right now, but where everything costs 50% – 75% less. You could literally squirrel away a few thousand dollars every month or two, without having to budget or cut back on anything.
Sure, that means finding a job in an overseas country that pays you the same salary you’re earning today, but you’d be surprised at just how often that’s possible. We’ve seen people handed blank checks for relocating to a company’s overseas office – we’re talking rooftop apartment with a garden, staff to take care of you, and an expense budget that would make your eyes water.
Check out “The 4-Hour Work Week” if you want some motivation and inspiration for how you can make this lifestyle possible for you.
Myths About Mail Order Brides
The Green Card
Probably the biggest myth about mail order brides that’s done the rounds over the last few decades is that women from foreign countries are willing to say anything, do anything or marry anyone to get a visa to live in another country. But what most people overlook are things like the ratio of eligible men to women in foreign countries.
Based on population diversity, Russian women should have no problem with finding an eligible male. That is until you look at the alcohol and substance abuse issues which plague Russian men aged between 18 and 40. Often the reason a foreign girl is looking for a husband from another country is because she can’t find the love of her life at home
Marriages Don’t Last
Once people get over the idea that you’re actually dating a woman from a foreign country – a “mail order bride” – the next pearl of wisdom they’ll want to share with you is that marriages like yours can never last. This is despite the fact that Asian, Eastern European and South American women are statistically far less likely to divorce their husbands than North American or European women.
The United States has a divorce rate of 53%, France is at 55%, Spain is at 61%, and the list goes on. So, are your friends the experts on successful marriages they think they are? We doubt it because we know that “mail order marriages” are far less likely to result in divorce. We’ve seen the proof of that.
All Dating Agencies Are Scams
This is another sweeping statement that’s based on nothing more than sensationalist headlines in online tabloids, and probably from “dating experts” in online forums i.e. 38 year old virgins. It would be financial suicide for an international dating agency to go to all the trouble of setting up shop, make a few grand, and then vanish. Their real income is built by developing long-term relationships with local women and foreign men who want to be introduced to each other.
Scams do happen, but that’s only because some guy decided to believe promises that were too good to be true.
Her Family Is Part of the Deal
This is probably the funniest myth we’ve come across over the years. This paints the horrific image that you’re going to wake up some morning to find your new wife’s mother, father, three aunts, four uncles, and seven nieces and nephews standing on your porch. The likelihood of this happening to you is right up there with winning the Lottery while getting struck by lightning, twice.
Most of the foreign women you meet will have a very close bond with their family, but most of them will barely be able to afford a ticket to visit you, never mind bring her whole family with her.
So, there you have it, the ‘Ultimate Guide to Mail Order’ brides. We hope you’ve enjoyed it, but if you think we’ve missed out on anything be sure to let us know with a comment below.