Meeting and Dating Women in Vietnam
The Vietnam war finished 40 years ago. One of the legacies of that conflict is that the women in Vietnam remain ever hopeful that a nice young western lad will come and take them away from their current life. SE Asian women are looking for a long term relationship so it’s not all that easy at times to find one who just wants to be your girlfriend on your holiday to her country. Sure, you can frequent the girly bars, there’s plenty of them, and a young lady like that might be just what you are looking for. But do you really want to be lying half-awake every night to make sure she doesn’t disappear with your wallet, camera and smartphone? It’s a risk. So is catching an STD.
Set Up a Date
You should make the time to get onto a Vietnamese dating site and learn a little about how the women think and behave. Understand their ties to their families and traditional values with regard to sex and relationships. These girls are raised in secure family environments and as a result, they come across as a little shy and timid. Mind you, they are excellent home keepers. Registering on a dating site and supplying some current photos will get the required action. To do this properly, you should be on that website at least 2 to 3 weeks before you make the trip. Don’t be surprised or overcome with the number of responses you will receive.
What are You Looking For?
- A single girl for starters. Yes, there are some amazing looking young mothers in that country, but you are not travelling there to start a family or get a ready-made
- It’s true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Make your choice based on your taste. The search functions on sites allow you to enter age range, height and education, to name a few. Hint: If you have a loose itinerary, you can search for girls based in the city or towns you will be visiting or near. Handy if you plan to move around and not stay chained to a beach resort.
- How much English does she speak? If you are spending time with her, then you don’t want awkward silences and communication with hand signals, although body language and sign language can sometimes get the job done.
- Make sure you cam with the girl. Seeing is believing. Also, remember that cams don’t always give you the clearest picture.
- Vietnamese girls, like Chinese girls, rarely ask for money online. The matter should not crop up. You know the drill if that happens. NEVER send money online to somebody you have never met.
- Be respectful when you chat. No, she doesn’t want an erotic cam with you. Find out her interests, what does she do, her family. Is she on Facebook?
The chat program in Vietnam is Viber. Download the app. It’s free and will come in handy. When you have decided on the girl or girls, you want to meet, give them your phone number. They will certainly give you theirs. Remember, some are a little shy, so it might be you that has to text them on arrival. However, many are also up for the game and will send you an SMS once they know your arrival date.
Hint: Don’t forget to make sure you are staying at a ‘guest friendly’ hotel. Not all hotels will allow you to bring a girl back to your room. It’s an annoying anomaly in some SE Asian countries who love tourists visiting, especially guys coming to date girls, but you can’t bring your date back to your hotel. Go figure!
Some girls in some countries don’t mind a bit of PDA (Public Displays of Affection). Don’t try it with Vietnamese girls. It’s not in their culture to be kissing and groping in public. In Thailand or the Philippines, you can get the woman into bed the first night. Don’t be disappointed if that doesn’t happen in Vietnam. If the girl lives at home, your chances of getting her to stay the night with you at your hotel are rather slim. If she’s living in an apartment or staying with friends, you have a pretty good chance. Here’s where the work you did on the dating site is worth it. You should have found out all that stuff before you made the date with her, right?
Okay, there isn’t really a tax on foreigners, it’s actually worse. ALL SE Asian countries do this by the way. You’re a foreigner. You’re rich. The charge is double. If you want to have a real holiday in these countries, you NEED a local girlfriend. When I was in China, I never went shopping without my girlfriend. The same went for my times I lived in the Philippines and Thailand. The amount of money you will save by having your sweet young thing give shop and restaurant owners a mouthful of abuse for overcharging you is significant. They live poor, they know how to negotiate.
The Country and the Girl
The places to visit in Vietnam are many. Beautiful locations and still somewhat untouched by western influences once you move out of the two big cities, Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh. The country ended up with a very long coastline (3400 km) that borders the South China Sea and the Gulf of Thailand. If you don’t have the patience to take things nice and slowly with your conservative Vietnamese girlfriend, you can have a great holiday anyway, exploring the fabulous coastline from Rach Giá to Hai Phong.
Vietnamese Women: An Overview
Vietnamese women are beautiful, exotic and charming. They are loving, tender and kind and make wonderful girlfriends, wives and mothers. They have a lot to offer but they also have pretty strict standards, as well. They are raised with strict morals about dating, sex and marriage and are not turned on by dirty talk or overly aggressive men.
They, like all women, enjoy compliments, as long as they are respectful and kind. Vietnam is a rural country so most of the women there are farm girls and have been somewhat sheltered from mainstream Western culture so you should be respectful of her heritage and understanding if she seems a bit “backward.”
With all of that said, you are probably wondering how in the world to meet a great Vietnamese girl. The truth is, that Vietnamese women are a bit scarce in America and if you are interested in meeting one you will probably have to either travel overseas or develop an internet relationship. Read on for some simple tips for getting the girl of your dreams.
1. Find a personals site.
There are wide variety of dating sites made specifically for Vietnamese dating. Of course, they can be used for Vietnamese men to meet but they are also great places for American or Western men to meet Vietnamese women.
As a Westerner on one of these sites, you will immediately be put at an advantage in some ways and at a disadvantage in other ways. The great advantage, obviously, is that you will have the opportunity to browse through hundreds of Vietnamese women’s profiles.
You will also stand out from the crowd as a Western guy. However, for some women this will be a turn off. Vietnam is a very traditional country and many women will not be interested in dating outside of their race or culture.
It is definitely a good idea to look into such a site but be prepared for the fact that you will probably face some rejection.
2. Check out Vietnamese churches or markets
This seems like a pretty logical way to meet Vietnamese women, doesn’t it? Some churches are built specifically by and for Vietnamese people and there will obviously be TONS of Vietnamese women there. There are also lots of churches that have Vietnamese services.
You should, of course, be prepared for some strange looks or suspicions but if you can get past the glares, you may just meet a great girl. If church isn’t your thing then find a Vietnamese market locally and spend time there. There are 2 big advantages to this:
– You will be frequenting a place FULL of Vietnamese people. (This is one obvious!)
– You will be showing an interest in Vietnamese culture.
Vietnamese women will find that extremely attractive and it will give you an excuse to talk to them. Ask questions about the foods, the products and their country’s culture. They will be hooked in no time!
3. Show interest RESPECTFULLY
Once you have met and connected with a potential Vietnamese date, you will want to let her know that you are interested. This is where you should tread carefully.
She will not respond well to sexual innuendos, aggressive tactics or being treated like a piece of meat. Compliment her clothes, her hair, her intelligence and let her know that you think she is great… not that she is just good for one thing.
Remember, as mentioned before, that showing an interest in her culture, language, cuisine and lifestyle will go a LONG way.
4. Develop a Relationship
Vietnamese women, as is true of all women, want a tender and kind man who shows true love for them. They want to feel adored and special.
Your responsibility is to let her know that as much as possible and since Western men are typically stereotyped as “players” in Vietnam, you will be fighting some pretty negative notions about yourself.
Don’t give her any reason to think you are shallow, looking for sex or that you have less than good intentions. She will go running in the opposite direction in no time.
5. If you are dating on the Internet, you will need to MEET her
She will only be interested in a purely electronic relationship for so long so if you are talking via the web and you two are really starting to “click” then you should not wait too long to go visit her or have her come visit you.
It is probably best to say that you will go visit her as her family and friends may not like her flying overseas to meet a man she only knows from a dating site. This is also a great opportunity to show interest and respect for her culture.
You can meet her family, see her home and become a real part of her life. Virtual dating is a great way to get to know one another but, if you are serious about a girl, she will expect to see you in real life and want to be hugged, kissed and held just like any other woman.
6. If you feel that is RIGHT then propose
You met and spent time with this girl so that you could ultimately marry her, right? Well, coming from such a traditional and rural culture she will expect that you will propose to her relatively quickly.
Years and year of long distance dating will not interest her and her father will probably put an end to the relationship if you drag it out too long.
This doesn’t mean to do anything rash or crazy but just keep in mind that she will not wait around forever and that her culture is much different than Western cultures where people can date for years or even decades without marrying.
She will not accept that type of arrangement.
Vietnamese women are very special and alluring. They are wonderful wives and mothers and will look after you and your family forever as long as you treat them right.
They will not accept being treated as less than a lady, however and will have expectations for marriage and proposal that may be different from other girls that you have dated.
You need to be respectful of her culture and values and seek to learn about it so that she knows that you are “on board” for the long haul.