10 Tips for Dating a Vietnamese Girl

Vietnamese women, due to the nature of their culture, are some of the friendliest girls and prettiest Asian girls you will come across. And you probably already know Vietnamese girls can be stunningly beautiful.

What you might not know is how welcoming Vietnamese girls can be to foreigners.

Of all South Asian countries, few are as popular a tourist destination as Vietnam. There are some great reasons to visit Vietnam, even aside from the gorgeous ladies. Vietnam is a lovely country with all manner of attractions to visit and sites to see, it should be easy to see why tourists love the country so much.

Despite having been ravaged by years of war and a stunted economy as a result, it’s a real wonder that the culture is as vibrant and the people as attractive and friendly as they are.

Which is not to say you are shoe-in just because you come from a western country. The main problem that foreigners encounter when they try to get into a relationship with a Vietnamese woman is just how big an obstacle cultural differences are. People often dismiss them, but if you’re not use to it just yet, it can be a big problem. For that reason, here are ten crucial things to keep in mind before you start dating a Vietnamese woman:

1. Make the First Move

The first and most important thing to remember is that it’s your duty as a guy to make the first move on her. It’s almost not worth mentioning at this point, but regardless of whether you’re online or see a pretty girl while wandering the streets in Saigon, it’s up to you to approach her first.

Men have always been the default suitors, and Vietnam, being a country buried deep in tradition, is no different. Just like Chinese women, Vietnamese consider the woman making the first move a ‘cheap’ thing to do. Even if she’s hot on you, the pressure on her to be the ‘girl’ is tremendous.

2. Leave the Asian Stereotypes at Home

Asia is the largest continent in the world, but people from the West, especially those who have never been exposed to Asian culture, tend to think of either Japanese women or Chinese women as being the ‘standard’ of all Asian women (you can check out our article on Asian brides for an overview of Asian women). This leads to a lot of misunderstandings, half-truths and even (unintentionally) offensive remarks, mixing up Vietnamese girls with other Asian females.

Don’t go into it with any prejudice. Don’t assume they are supposed to behave in a certain way. Even if you’ve lived around other Asian people before, Vietnamese girls have some differences.

3. Meet Her Parents

When things start to get a little bit more serious, she’s going to play the old ‘we should go meet my parents’ card. Family is an incredibly important part of the average Vietnamese girl’s life, so this should not catch you off guard.

If this happens, it’s an indication she’s ready to settle down and get married. Or at least she is exploring the option of making you are more serious part of her life.

Her culture is such that all members of her household meet often. If she sees a future with you, she’s going to show you off to her people back at home.

If you want to get serious about your Vietnamese girl or you are looking for a wife from Vietnam, you will need to check out our Guide on Vietnamese Brides.

4. The First Date Means Everything

The first date will make or break your relationship with her. It’s when you’re supposed to establish compatibility, get to know her better and see if the two of you want the same things out of the potentially blooming relationship.

Take her out to a nice restaurant. It should preferably not be too high end and not too cheap, either. Taking her to an expensive restaurant would make it look like you’re trying to buy her out and something too cheap makes it look like you can’t hold your own. Dinner dates could do, but there’s nothing wrong with a bit of coffee for the event, either. Coffee is huge in most Vietnamese cities.

5. Don’t Count on First-Date Sex

One-night stands do happen in Vietnam – they are pretty common if you know where to find the right kind of girl. They aren’t as ready to hit the sack as passionate Filipinas s or wild Thai girls but they are probably about average among Asian women.

Second date hookups are much more common with Vietnamese girls. So if that’s important to you, consider holding out for the second date.

In this regard, the girls in Vietnam generally fall on the same spectrum you’ve likely already been exposed to in whatever country you live in. They are either really shy and traditional – so much so that they feel holding your hand is a taboo or want to get down to action as soon as they can.

6. Show Her You Are Able to Provide

Viet culture being what it is, the man is considered the sole provider of the family. There has been a huge cultural shift in recent years as more and more of the country is exposed to Western culture and more, but it will be a long while before they reach Western levels of extreme.

When dating a Vietnamese girl, you’re going to need to show her that the two of you won’t be going to go to sleep hungry. She needs to know you can live a moderate to comfortable life.

This takes steps as simple as paying the bill yourself and looking better than casually dressed on the first date. As it stands, splitting the bill is considered unmanly (and unwomanly) among the Vietnamese.

7. Look out For the Red Flags

While women constantly complain about men only looking for sex, men have always complained about women only looking for money. I’d be a naive liar if I told you every Vietnamese woman is loyal and faithful.

There are a ton of women who go out actively looking for foreigners because they believe they have cash to spend on them. “Gold-diggers” we call them. Luckily for us, they come with a ton of red flags easy to spot even from a mile away.

The most common kind of red flag is the kind of girl who asks almost no other question about you other than those revolving around money. What job do you do? How much do you earn? How much are you willing to spend? Would you be willing to help a desperate relative of hers that you will never meet undergo a suspiciously complex and expensive surgery? If you hear any of that baloney, just head out the door at that instance.

They aren’t common in Vietnam but you can read more about how to protect yourself from Asian dating scams here.

8.  Mind the Cultural Differences (Language Especially)

A lot of guys greatly underestimate just how significant cultural differences can be when it comes to a relationship. The whole culture thing is way too broad to cover here, though, so I’ll just cover the part that bites us in the ass the most. That’s the language barrier.

Vietnam’s national language is (unsurprisingly) Vietnamese, and despite how influenced the people tend to be by Western culture, they are still a long way off from adopting it to any great degree. A lot of the girls can speak English, but only barely. Even then, they are often too shy to do speak it either way.

You’ll want to take some classes to at least be familiar with common phrases and how to address people you come across. There are no pronouns in Vietnamese, for instance, so you can’t exactly directly translate the phrase ‘I am looking for a bar.’

9. Vietnamese Girls Can Be Pretty Jealous

We give Latin women a break for being extremely jealous and confrontational for even relatively little issues in a relationship. But no-one talks about how crazy jealous Vietnamese girls can get!

They can be pretty dramatic when it comes down to it. Something as little as seeing you riding a motorbike with another girl (motorbikes are really important in Vietnam) can cause a strain in your relationship (or even a classic old slap in the face!).

Of course, before it comes down to that, you want to have a talk with her regarding what the boundaries are in your relationship. Not everything should be held to such high extremes.

Big tip: Establish the boundaries of your relationship from the start. Changing them later is much more difficult.

10. Make Sure You’re Not Being Used

Outside the context of wanting your cash straight up, women in Vietnam have several other reasons for wanting to date a foreigner.

One of the most commons reasons is simply to learn a foreign language. It’s innocuous and if you are enjoying your time, you can go with it. But it’s good to be aware that just because she is talking to you, it might not mean what you think it means. In the worst case, it makes it much easier to be able to string along another foreign dude that comes hitting on her.

Dating a foreigner earns the girl ‘social points.’ She’s held in much higher regard by her friends, for instance. It’s not uncommon for girls to take pictures with foreigners just to upload to Facebook in order to impress her friends. It makes her look wordly, cool, and special.

The last kind are the ones who only want you to buy her and her friends free food. If she asks for her friends to tag along during the first date…it’s likely going nowhere. Don’t think you are going to impress her by taking her friends out. Her friends will be impressed with her but once that’s done, you will be alone and feeling used.