You don’t need someone who’s lived in China their whole lives to tell you dating a girl from China is a lot different from dating girls back at home.
But what most people don’t exactly realize is just how much difference really exists.
The kind of expectations a Chinese girl will have of you, and those you have of her and how the two of you are going to fulfill them make all the difference when it comes to a relationship.
With the great differences in culture between Western countries and Asian countries, there’s a dire need to fill the knowledge gap first.
Here are a few tips to get you going on how to handle a Chinese woman.
1. Make a good first impression
First impressions matter a lot in China. People will judge you solely based on what you were like the first time they saw you, and those opinions are prone to last possibly for as long as they know you.
Show up to meet a group of friends with a nasty mustard stain on your shirt? You’ll forever be known as the ‘mustard stain guy.’
A good first impression entails being well-dressed – for the umpteenth time, don’t show up on a date in those ugly brown cargo shorts!
Odor is especially a big turn off for most Chinese girls. Trust me, the last thing you want is one of them relating to the rest of their group that her date smelled like a pig.
2. Be forward
Something that really makes China stand out from a lot of other countries is how direct and blunt the people are.
If they don’t like your clothes or your breath stinks, don’t expect the same kind of courtesy you’d be offered at home – a mint, at worst.
Fresh out the oven, here’s a hot tip for you. Being forward with a Chinese woman is incredibly important, as is being able to express your opinion without being too rude.
When entering a relationship with her, let her know what you’re after – a long-term relationship that may blossom into marriage or just a one-time fling.
Even if you don’t tell her yourself, she is very likely to ask you outright, so you better have all your nerves together, ready with a real answer. It’s really a game of roulette.
you’re not looking for the same thing, it’s all well and good. Give another lovely lady a chance till you land someone you’re absolutely compatible with.
3. Don’t be too obsessed with hooking up
As it so happens, China is a country with a strange mix of conservatism and liberalism mashed up together, depending on the context of what you’re referring to. Socially, the country is more conservative-leaning than it is liberal.
Sexual liberation and the likes are usually openly laughed at as evidence of the West’s complete lack of morals and the worsening situation in affected countries.
If you’re on the lookout for someone to whisper sweet nothings to in the hope of getting them to go bed with you, you might come very disappointed and even more empty-handed.
You’ll have better luck looking for someone to have a long-lasting relationship with.
4. Be open about meeting her family
When the time comes, and the time will come assuming you’ve played all of your cards right, be ready to be thoroughly scrutinized by her mother and father from the bottom of your toes to the tip of your longest hair.
Generally, it’s in your best interest to try and impress them the best you can.
First things first, never show up to her parents’ house empty-handed. The presence or absence of a gift says a lot about your generosity and ability to take care of their daughter.
This can be a bit tricky, though, since bringing the wrong kind of gift also sheds bad light on you. It needs to be something unique to them – ask your girl what her parents really like and get something along the lines of their interests.
There are a lot of other quirky bits of Chinese culture you may have to get used to, too, though.
5. They really like cute things
Chinese girls are often portrayed on TV as being jumpy and excited about every little thing that amuses them.
For the most part, this isn’t necessarily very far from the truth. For example, a lot of Chinese girls really like to get toys as gifts.
The results here may differ from person to person, but in my experience, they really love to get something small and cute.
A lot of them like to be gifted toys that are traditionally meant for women – teddy bears (these are usually really big), little necklaces and even arm bands.
If you’re not sure what your girl would like, just head over to the nearest toy store (lucky for you, there’s plenty of them at nearly every street) and grab something pink and cute.
Chances are pretty high she’s going to love it.
6. Don’t be offended if she doesn’t laugh at your joke
Puns are considered by many as ‘the lowest form of comedy.’ How true that is is up for debate. What isn’t, however, is the fact that how humour is perceived is a cultural thing.
What’s funny to one group of people may not be funny to another group of people. It all comes down to how used to the culture you are.
You will likely reference things you’ve grown up with around you and experiences she’s going to have a bit of difficulty relating to.
While making her laugh is in both your best interests, don’t try too hard; and even if you do try, don’t take offense if she doesn’t even crack a smile or chuckle to your most hilarious life experience or joke. It goes both ways, too.
7. They are crazy about food
If you thought yourself a lover of all kinds of food, be ready to meet the surprise of your life. Chinese girls eat food like cement mixers consume water.
Despite their relatively small frames and statures, don’t underestimate just how much food they can eat. This is both good news and bad news.
The good news is that China has perhaps the most diverse range of foods you can order anywhere in the world – there’s an incredible demand for it. However, there are just as many Chinese restaurants as there are people to eat at them. Thinking of where to go get a meal should be much easier.
8. Leave the stereotypes at home
Despite how funny the jokes can be, the last thing you should try is to make a stereotypical joke at someone you barely know.
Once you get used to them, they can start calling you out at how much of a foreigner you are, and you can poke fun at their culture. It’s all part of getting used to the rather blunt, and, for someone who’s not accustomed to it, hurtful, way people in China relate to each other.
9. Be dominant, kinda.
Like in a lot of other cultures around the world, the man is expected to take a lot of initiate around the household and relationship.
The woman is normally in charge of how the expenses are spent, but the man is in charge of how they land in the house to begin with. The man is expected to be, as they like to say, ‘large and in charge,’ but not exactly.
By this saying, they mean men are expected to be able to make up their minds in decisions like where to eat or what to visit over the holidays.
Their definition of ‘dominant’ is far from the ‘macho’ kind of person Latinas prefer to hang around, for example. Being polite, respectful, and considerate is the cornerstone of a relationship between a man and his wife in China.
In their culture, the man isn’t really superior like people might think. You’re equal partners. Which brings us to the most controversial thing Chinese women prefer in a man.
10. Help around the household
Considering how Western cultures praise equality around the household and such, a man doing laundry or even vacuuming the house is really nothing new.
It may sound silly to most people, but you’d be surprised just how many Chinese women prefer to remain single rather than be in a relationship with a man who does not help with house chores.
It’s a really complicated topic, which would be pretty unfair to try and summarized in a single paragraph, but I’ll do my best.
The gist of it is this: whoever makes more money has more leverage in house. If the man makes more money, he expects the woman to do most of the work, which is usually the case.
But younger women are starting to make more and more – a lot of times the same amount as the man, maybe even more, leading to weird dynamics around the home.
Why not save yourself the hustle and just help her do the dishes or make her breakfast once in a while? She’ll love it.