Last updated: Nov 8, 2018
Vietnamese mail order brides make for very special wives. Classy, loyal and oh so hot, a Vietnamese women will make you feel like a King.
Did you know that from 2008 to 2010 about 200,000 Vietnamese women married foreigners? These statistics place Vietnam on top of countries with the most women marrying abroad.
All Asian Brides, women from Vietnam included, are some of the most beautiful women in the world. Aside from the apparent beauty, there is something about women from Vietnam which makes them really stand out, though.
If you are looking for an intelligent, mild-mannered, reserved and observant woman to marry, then look no further than Vietnam.
Why Do Vietnamese Mail Order Brides Exist?
The Vietnam war finished 40 years ago. One of the legacies of that conflict is that the women in Vietnam remain ever hopeful that a nice young western lad will come and marry them, taking them away from their current life of poverty.
Vietnamese women are usually looking for a long term relationship so it’s not all that easy at times to find one who wants to be JUST your girlfriend on your holiday to her country. If you aren’t looking to marry a girl but you want to explore SE Asia, it’s much easier to have a hot Filipina girlfriend and just see where things go.
Of course every woman is different, but, that said, here are…
7 Reasons Vietnamese Women Want To Date And Marry A Westerner
Passionate women that want real love
There is a wave of people now who no longer believe in the good ol’ love relationships, but as it turns out, Vietnamese women still believe that love is the foundation of everything.
These women are passionate and are out to seek their Prince Charming. And as it happens, western men are still fond of being loved unconditionally, something which proves elusive with no-nonsense home-girls.
Vietnamese women want exciting relationships
If you have ever visited a tropical country, then you know that as much as it is beautiful and almost wild, the climate can be quite suffocating after sometime. What with two long seasons of different extremes?
The west also represents modern and highly developed cultures, the complete opposite of a third world nation. Sometimes a change of scenery enhances the attraction to western guys.
International dating is never boring
The western nations, especially the U.S, represent a world of diversity, the epitome of multicultural interaction. Most people want to see how others live and view life through diverse eyes. Suffice to say, Vietnamese women are curious to know what lies out there in the sprawling cities of the west.
Those same conversations they have, over and over, with local guys, get boring. But you, as a foreigner, automatically have an exciting story to tell her. Your whole life is an exciting story to women from foreign cultures.
A better life with a foreign husband
Most people still have the opinion that people from countries with high poverty rates only marry for the green card.
However, this is far from the truth. You will not fail to find many successful Vietnamese women still opting for the western guys. The main reason is usually the open-mindedness of western culture regarding women in general and opportunities they can pursue.
Vietnamese mail order brides take care of their family
Poverty is a common theme with a lot of marriages to foreigners in East and Southeast Asia. Marriage for betterment of the family back at home is still quite common. It’s true inside the culture, as well. But most foreigners that actually go to their country to meet them will be a good catch, from the perspective of security and support.
Vietnamese women are raised believing in the importance of family. Getting their parents and siblings out of the deep well of extreme poverty is, to some, their greatest duty.
Liberated Vietnamese women
Vietnamese people are quite traditional – women are taught from an early age to be caring towards their husbands no matter the circumstance. However, newer generations are (inevitably) learning about the importance of healthy relationships, and a lot of them are out for nothing more than that.
At the same time, while Vietnamese women are some of the most loving people in the world due to their culture, Vietnamese husbands are stereotypically the exact opposite. They tend to be macho to the point where it’s deplorable and downright abusive – often referred to as ‘Trong Nam Khinh Nu’ (literally meaning ‘respect for men, but not for women’.
The women are taught to respect the man no matter what; and ‘Chong Chua, Vo Toi’ tells the man to do whatever he wants because the woman will always serve him.
In the end, they only want to escape their oppressive culture and experience life outside. The kind they have been exposed to pretty much their whole lives. Who doesn’t want to be shown a little bit of respect and gratitude for the kind of back-breaking work they do all day, after all?
“Love is all you need”
Being deeply rooted in tradition, both men and women have to undergo extensive background checks before a marriage is approved. Remember, marriages normally happen with both parents’ consent. If the man’s parents don’t or the woman’s parents say otherwise, it’s called a day.
For people from the West, this is obviously not going to happen for a number of reasons. For one, it would be literally impossible, even if they wanted to. For another, men from the Western part of the world are generally considered to be wealthy and educated. They have no real reason to question any of these factors as it’s more or less assumed from the outset.
Why Should I Marry A Vietnamese Mail Order Bride?
Vietnam was once war-ravaged and impoverished,but decades later, all of that has become nothing but a memory locked away in the shadows of the days of ignorance. Vietnam is quickly becoming an economic hub with a steady economy.
Here is a nation that still has the classic specimen of women. Below are five reasons why western men should marry a Vietnamese woman.
Modest Vietnamese brides
This quality in the west can only be captured now in the books of 20th-century writers like Lucy M. Montgomery and Grace L. Hill.
However, you no longer need to read about modesty if you can find yourself a Vietnamese bride. These women aren’t likely to be self-centered and usually careful with how they interact with other people.
They are generally humble and caring towards other living souls.
One other thing, prepare yourself for a conservative dress code if you choose to date a modest Vietnamese girl.
Vietnamese women do not tend to flaunt their bodies, plus, this is a good thing; it shows your lady respects herself and does not care to show everyone what she owns.
Classy Vietnamese wives
If you miss the mild manners of a classy lady, then this is practically the specialty of Vietnamese women. Vietnamese families, like many other Asian households, emphasize raising children to behave correctly and responsibly whenever they are. These girls grow up with an inherent inclination towards proper conduct.
They share class and strong moral values with Indian brides, though looks wise, the two couldn’t be further apart and still both be Asian.
Loyal Vietnamese ladies
Are you tired of relationship dramas? Vietnamese women do not find cheating as easy as eating cheesecake. Like most of the Asian traditions, Vietnamese believe in nurturing long-term relationships and keeping them stable through thick and thin.
These women will always try and patiently work out problems rather than run away. You are looking at the kind of woman who still believes that marriages only happen once in life, not ten times.
Feminine Vietnamese wives
In the west, the line between what is feminine and what is not is becoming blurrier with each passing day; it is getting harder to tell apart the man and the lady in a relationship.
With cross-gender looks and outfits becoming popular and women leaning more towards masculinity every day, finding a girly girl can be tough. However, Vietnamese women still believe in feminine values and disposition.
Vietnamese women love their family
With many dysfunctional families in the west, we might as well learn a thing or two from the Vietnamese; they value family and are generally close-knit. Healthy families breed healthy individuals who will always endeavor to build and strengthen their own families later on.
Who doesn’t want such a person for a partner?
So, what do you want in a woman? If modesty, humbleness, class,and humility is something you have always been dreaming about, then try your luck with a Vietnamese mail order bride.
We never honestly know where we belong until we find that person that brings us the sense of belonging.
Vietnamese Brides: An Overview
Vietnamese women are beautiful, exotic and charming. They are loving, tender and kind and make wonderful girlfriends, wives and mothers. They have a lot to offer but they also have pretty strict standards, as well.
They are raised with strict morals about dating, sex and marriage and are not turned on by dirty talk or overly aggressive men. They, like all women, enjoy compliments, as long as they are respectful and kind.
Vietnam is a rural country so most of the women there are farm girls and have been somewhat sheltered from mainstream Western culture so you should be respectful of her heritage and understanding if she seems a bit “backward.”
With all of that said, you are probably wondering how in the world to meet a great Vietnamese girl. The truth is, that Vietnamese women are a bit scarce in America and if you are interested in meeting one you will probably have to either travel overseas or develop an internet relationship.
What to expect from your Vietnamese Mail Order Bride
Vietnamese mail order brides are very loyal
Did we mention how loyal they are? Ok, it bears repeating. These girls are taught that virtue is everything. Everyone in the community judges them based on the kind of attributes they showcase to the world.
Loyalty is one such trait. Once they get married, it’s hitched for life. Divorce is virtually unheard of in their culture, so the perpetuated notion of only marrying for a green card doesn’t extend that far.
Warning: A Vietnamese wife can be jealous
Perhaps as a consequence of their loyalty, Vietnamese women are insecure, especially about girls from the west. They are wary of foreigners who promise them the world and disappear after having sex or cheating on them afterwards. This, among other factors, has them ranked pretty high among the most jealous women in the world. It can also make casual sex and seducing Vietnamese women a little more difficult than some other Asian countries, like Thailand or the Philippines.
Their culture is also a lot more blunt than what people in the West are used to, so she might start browsing your phone with no prior warning. Unlike most girls that make an effort to hide what they are doing, she’ll do it right in front of you.
It might be annoying, but at the start, just let her do it. It’s how she was brought up. It might take some time to get her to understand that’s not okay, but they are pretty great at integrating!
The Relationship: What your Vietnamese Mail Order Bride Expects From You
The man pays
When going out with her, never make a big deal out of money. It’s not so much their culture (it may play some role), but most of them don’t grow up around huge amounts of money.
They tend to be very self conscious about this. For which reason, you’re always expected to cover the bill. Don’t be led to believing they are using you. It’s just how things work with them,
Make your new Vietnamese bride feel comfortable
Whenever you’re out with a group of friends, remember that she grew up around a completely different crowd of people. She won’t understand your jokes, references or puns no matter how obvious they may seem to be, to you.
Nobody likes to feel left out, and they are obviously no exception. Whenever you can, explain the joke (even if it dies in the process!). It helps her feel like she’s part of your gang and will help you two grow closer. That said, be careful not to talk down to her or embarrass her in front of others.
For what it’s worth, she can also explain to you the nuisances of her traditions and humor.
At least try to learn Vietnamese
Vietnamese isn’t as difficult to learn as, say, Chinese or Japanese. Make no mistake, it will take a few years of practice to be completely fluent, but nobody’s really asking that of you.
All you have to do is make an effort to learn the most basic aspects of her language. Maybe learn how to say ‘you look beautiful today’ or ‘you’re quite lovely’ aside from basic phrases like ‘good morning’ and ‘good night.’. Then surprise her once in a while with a new phrase and she will be delighted every time you do.
In the process, you might even get down to teaching her the more complex aspects of the English language. It’s tough, but can be taught through thorough thought, though.
More subtle aspects of Vietnamese mail order brides
Other aspects of her culture will take a bit of time to get used to, but two that should let you hit the ground running go as follows:
- Move her bike for her (no, it’s not that, you dirty minded westerner!). Motorcycles and scooters are by far the most popular means of transport in the country. The country doesn’t have as oppressive laws as, say, Saudi Arabia, so women can own property as they please. However, the catch here is that you should move the bike for her before she drives off. It may seem strange to an outsider but a girl ‘shouldn’t’ do that on her own. It’s even better a complete stranger do it than she by herself.
- Vietnamese humor is like a never-ending reel of Monty Python’s Circus or Benny Hill. Unlike the US, where most humor is either pun-based or employs some sort of logic, they enjoy slapstick humor more than anything. Give her some time to get used to your kind of comedy before introducing her to your favorite stand-ups.
Read on for some simple tips for finding your perfect Vietnamese mail order bride.
How to Find a Vietnamese Mail Order Bride
Use a Vietnamese Dating Site
You should make the time to get onto a Vietnamese dating site and learn a little about how the women think and behave. Understand their ties to their families and traditional values with regard to sex and relationships.
These girls are raised in secure family environments and as a result, they come across as a little shy and timid. Mind you, they are excellent home keepers.
Registering on a dating site and supplying some current photos will get some good reactions. There are wide variety of dating sites made specifically for Vietnamese dating. Of course, they can be used for Vietnamese men to meet but they are also great places for American or Western men to meet Vietnamese women.
As a Westerner on one of these sites, you will immediately be put at an advantage in some ways and at a disadvantage in other ways. The great advantage, obviously, is that you will have the opportunity to browse through hundreds of Vietnamese women’s profiles.
You will also stand out from the crowd as a Western guy. However, for some women this will be a turn off. Vietnam is a very traditional country and many women will not be interested in dating outside of their race or culture.
It is definitely a good idea to look into such a site but be prepared for the fact that you will probably face some rejection.
You should be on that website at least 2 to 3 weeks before you make the trip. Don’t be surprised or overcome with the number of responses you will receive.
What kind of Vietnamese woman are you looking for?
- A single girl for starters. Yes, there are some amazing looking young mothers in that country, but you are not travelling there to start a family or get a ready-made
- It’s true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Make your choice based on your taste. The search functions on sites allow you to enter age range, height and education, to name a few. Hint: If you have a loose itinerary, you can search for girls based in the city or towns you will be visiting or near. Handy if you plan to move around and not stay chained to a beach resort.
- How much English does she speak? If you are spending time with her, then you don’t want awkward silences and communication with hand signals, although body language and sign language can sometimes get the job done.
- Make sure you cam with the girl. Seeing is believing. Also, remember that cams don’t always give you the clearest picture.
- Vietnamese girls, like Chinese girls, rarely ask for money online. The matter should never come up. You know the drill if that happens. NEVER send money online to somebody you have never met.
- Be respectful when you chat. No, she doesn’t want an erotic cam with you. Find out her interests, what does she do, her family. Is she on Facebook.
Communicating with Vietnamese women
The chat program of choice in Vietnam is Viber. Download the app. It’s free and will come in handy. When you have decided on the girl or girls, you want to meet, give them your phone number. They will certainly give you theirs.
Remember, some are a little shy, so it might be you that has to text them on arrival. However, many are also up for the game and will send you an SMS once they know your arrival date.
Hint: Don’t forget to make sure you are staying at a ‘guest friendly’ hotel. Not all hotels will allow you to bring a girl back to your room. It’s an annoying anomaly in some SE Asian countries who love tourists visiting, especially guys coming to date Asian girls, but you can’t bring your date back to your hotel.
Show Your Future Wife Interest, Respectfully
Once you have met and connected with a potential Vietnamese date, you will want to let her know that you are interested. This is where you should tread carefully.
She will not respond well to sexual innuendos, aggressive tactics or being treated like a piece of meat. Compliment her clothes, her hair, her intelligence and let her know that you think she is great… not that she is just good for one thing.
Remember, as mentioned before, that showing an interest in her culture, language, cuisine and lifestyle will go a LONG way.
Develop a deep relationship with her
Vietnamese women, as is true of all women, want a tender and kind man who shows true love for them. They want to feel adored and special.
Your responsibility is to let her know that as much as possible and since Western men are typically stereotyped as “players” in Vietnam, you will be fighting some pretty negative notions about yourself.
Don’t give her any reason to think you are shallow, looking for sex or that you have less than good intentions. She will go running in the opposite direction in no time.
If you’re dating on the internet, you will need to physically meet a Vietnamese girl
She will only be interested in a purely electronic relationship for so long so if you are talking via the web and you two are really starting to “click” then you should not wait too long to go visit her or have her come visit you.
It is probably best to say that you will go visit her as her family and friends may not like her flying overseas to meet a man she only knows from a dating site. This is also a great opportunity to show interest and respect for her culture.
You can meet her family, see her home and become a real part of her life. Virtual dating is a great way to get to know one another but, if you are serious about a girl, she will expect to see you in real life and want to be hugged, kissed and held just like any other woman.
If it feels right, propose and make her your wife.
You met and spent time with this girl so that you could ultimately marry her, right? Well, coming from such a traditional and rural culture your Vietnamese bride will expect that you will propose to her relatively quickly.
Years and years of long distance dating will not interest her and her father will probably put an end to the relationship if you drag it out too long.
This doesn’t mean to do anything rash or crazy but just keep in mind that she will not wait around forever and that her culture is much different than Western cultures where people can date for years or even decades without marrying. She will not accept that type of arrangement.
Vietnamese women are very special and alluring. They make wonderful wives and mothers and will look after you and your family forever as long as you treat them right.
They will not accept being treated as less than a lady, however and will have expectations for marriage and proposal that may be different from other girls that you have dated.
You need to be respectful of her culture and values and seek to learn about it so that she knows that you are “on board” for the long haul.
Ok, all this is great once you have a Vietnamese wife but what about some dating tips to help you get there? We have you covered. Up next.
Tips for dating Vietnamese women
Keep her family close
The most important unit in Vietnam is the family. To a pretty extreme degree, from a foreign mans’ point of view. Culturalatlas describes the depth of Vietnam family importance:
In this sense, it is acknowledged that one must respect and protect the family reputation. In some cases, relatives may ostracise a family member who deeply dishonours them.
You need to be close to her family – interact with her nieces and nephews and get them to like you. They are pretty welcoming to outsiders, as long as that person seems trusted by one member of the family.
In fact, if you can get at least one of them to like you, you’re ‘in like Flynn’. All you need to do is be kind and respectful – look them in the eye when talking to them and at least attempt their most basic greetings.
The greetings part is especially important. Even if you pronounce them wrong, at least you can all laugh about it then. Be able to laugh at yourself, too. Vietnamese women love a guy who doesn’t take himself too seriously.
Being romantic with Vietnamese women
All women love to be romanced and Vietnamese women are no exception. We’d be lying if we said no woman ever dates for money in Vietnam. A lot of them are offered money, so, in the end, the real winner will be whoever is most romantic.
In this regard, the smallest things can go a really long way. Hold her hand, offer a coat when it’s cold outside and be kind to people who serve you out it public. How you treat others and the little details you remember about her could be the deal-breaker for her.
It should be mentioned that how you dress is also incredibly important. Being the first thing she has to judge you by (before you tell her anything about yourself), self-grooming is important for making a proper first impression.
Cleanliness and well-kept hair is normally seen as a sign of confidence and a person who knows how to take care of themselves. How are you going to take care of her if you can’t even maintain your own body?
Learn to love her favorite foods (or at least pretend to)
Vietnamese food can be absolutely brutal to the stomachs of people who aren’t used to it. Most of them are some variations of seafood – a lot of their economy revolves around fish. This includes the most famous dish in the country and a specialty in Ho Chi Minh city – Goi cuon.
Unless you’re specifically allergic to seafood, you have some getting used to to take care of. Either that or foods with a whole lot of spices. Foods like banh xeo are so spicy some people have to take them with a glass of water close by, just in case.
If you’re a fan of neither of those, she may offer to take you to one of the many street stalls, where the most common food is bun cha. It’s essentially a burger with pork patties served with rice noodles, veggies and a sweet sauce. People with a way in the kitchen can start impressing her by picking up the recipe beforehand.
Though Vietnam falls somewhere between a developed country and a developing country, the places to visit in Vietnam are many. Beautiful locations and still somewhat untouched by western influences once you move out of the two big cities, Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh.
The country ended up with a very long coastline (3400 km) that borders the South China Sea and the Gulf of Thailand. If you don’t have the patience to take things nice and slowly with your conservative Vietnamese girlfriend, you can have a great holiday anyway, exploring the fabulous coastline from Rach Giá to Hai Phong.
Here are some tips of what you should expect, and how to act when visiting your Vietnamese girlfriend for the first time:
Proper behavior with Vietnamese girls
Some girls in some countries don’t mind a bit of PDA (Public Displays of Affection). Don’t try it with Vietnamese girls. It’s not in their culture to be kissing and groping in public. As factsanddetails.com states about PDAs in Vietnam:
When meeting with Vietnamese of the opposite sex sometimes a handshake is okay. A slight bow or nod is safer. A kiss on the cheek is a bad idea.
In Thailand or the Philippines, you can get the woman into bed the first night. Don’t be disappointed if that doesn’t happen in Vietnam. If the girl lives at home, your chances of getting her to stay the night with you at your hotel are rather slim. If she’s living in an apartment or staying with friends, you have a pretty good chance.
Here’s where the work you did on the dating site is worth it. You should have found out all that stuff before you made the date with her, right?
Okay, there isn’t really a tax on foreigners, it’s actually worse. ALL SE Asian countries do this by the way. You’re a foreigner. You’re rich. The charge is double.
If you want to have a real holiday in these countries, you NEED a local girlfriend. When I was in China, I never went shopping without my girlfriend (And I have a whole LOT to say about Chinese Mail Order Brides, as well). The same went for my times I lived in the Philippines and Thailand.
The amount of money you will save by having your sweet young thing give shop and restaurant owners a mouthful of abuse for overcharging you is significant. They live poor, they know how to negotiate.