Dating & Marrying A Chinese Woman
Somebody once told me that you will find the most beautiful women in China. Seeing that I had lived in both the Philippines and Thailand, I was rather dubious about that statement. After 5 years living in China, I might have to begrudgingly agree.
China still remains a bit of a mystery to the dating game. Correction, used to be a mystery, but the opening up of the country and the way it has embraced good old hedonism has shown us just what good looking women the Chinese are and how adept they have become with dating sites and finding a spouse.
Here’s why the women are so available to western guys
In the past 30 years, many western guys have made the move to China and found a lovely Chinese bride in the Middle Kingdom. Many have also taken their wives back to their country to live. The reason being that close ties in Chinese families can, at times, have a stressful impact on married couples residing in China.
Having said that, the dating scene is a bit of a minefield. While brothels and similar venues are illegal, they continue operating, despite being banned. A common occurrence in many countries, of course.
The Tier 1 cities like Beijing, Shenzhen, Guangzhou and Shanghai have lots of opportunities for a young guy to find and date an attractive Chinese girl. Just like other SE Asian countries, they will seek you out. Chinese girls have a fascination for western men. Trust me, when I was there, having girls approach you on the street was intimidating and wonderful at the same time.
Chinese girls want to learn English from you
Sometimes it’s under the pretext of wanting to learn English that a young lady will approach a western guy. Other times it’s straight forward, “I like you!” Many a relationship has started from an English native speaker providing lessons to an eager student. And if it doesn’t work out, you can always take pride in that old adage of leaving people better than you found them. I actually enjoyed the English lessons, even when I wasn’t sure of her romantic interest.
The rapid westernization of China means that you can eat and have a coffee at Starbucks, McDonalds, Burger King, Kentucky Fried and a Pizza Hut with an almost guaranteed chance that a sweet young Chinese thing will approach you and ask to sit down.
Despite what I imagined before I spent a year living there, most are actually not all that shy.
Communicating With Chinese Girls
If you can download WeChat, QQ and Skype, you can be hit on by Chinese females at any time of the day. If you’re in the USA or Canada or the UK, you better turn your device off or log off those chat apps when you go to bed, because they don’t seem to have any understanding of the time difference.
Oh but let me warn you about one thing that I am embarrassed to say, I totally misunderstood. Be careful when they use the term ‘play’ with you when chatting. It doesn’t mean what you think it means. Boy, did that make my conversation awkward, one time!
Both Wechat and QQ have a search function so if nobody is looking for you, then you can go looking for them.
Warning 1. Unlike other SE Asian countries, finding an English speaking Chinese girl while searching those apps will be difficult. Although both systems have a translation function, they are not very good and misunderstandings are common.
Setting Up A Date
Chinese girls are starting to get very independent, so if you spend some time online with them, they will be more than happy to meet you. Your problem is getting around China without being able to speak the language.
If you meet a Chinese girl in one of the big cities, that will probably be a cake walk. Signs are usually in English and Chinese. If you’re meeting in a smaller town, you best make it the hotel or the airport.
The level of English that she can speak will play a huge role in the success of your dating visit.
Warning 2. The Chinese food served in restaurants in China bear no relationship whatsoever to Chinese food you buy in western-based Chinese restaurants. Be prepared to eat lots of strange stuff, but mostly all good. Still, if you are expecting Panda Express like I was, you will be in for a shock. And yes, before you ask, dog is still eaten in a couple of provinces.
Traditional Chinese Girls
You’re going to hear that a lot. They are all traditional Chinese girls, so they say. There is definitely a big difference between the savvy and know-how of the girls in the Tier 1 cities compared to the tier 3, 4 and 5 cities. An immense difference actually.
Don’t be surprised to discover that Chinese women from smaller cities don’t know a lot outside of China, don’t know a lot about sex and appear to act like 14–15-year-olds! You might even second guess yourself and start to wonder how you are going to develop a serious relationship with her.
Warning 3. Chinese women want to be married by age 22-23. Have a baby at age 24. That’s the tradition. After the age of 25, she risks become a “Sheng nu”, an unwanted woman no matter how desirable she might be to you and me.
Which China is better for westerners?
When we talk about China, we mean the Chinese mainland. This does not include Hong Kong, Macau and Taiwan, all of which are very un-Chinese, compared to the mainland.
Because there are many western guys in those places, you have competition. On the mainland, it’s a bit like bobbing for apples. So many beautiful girls, so little time, might be how you feel.
Travelling in China with your girl
The rail system in China is probably one of the best in the world for the frequency of trains and comfort in the carriages. You can sit or lie down with 2 different levels in the sleeper cabins.
However, you never get to sleep alone. You either share with 3 others or 5 others. I highly recommend that you find a Chinese partner, girlfriend, travel companion, whatever, before embarking on touring the country. She will be invaluable for ordering tickets, food and accommodation.
Hopefully, you can turn that into a travel romance.
Warning 4. Your acceptance as a western boyfriend will be difficult, almost impossible, on a short term visit. Be aware that with 23 million more men than women in China the Chinese men don’t like you stealing their ladies.
Some Facts About Your Future Chinese Partner
There is something inherently beautiful about Chinese women – they have a timeless beauty which has appealed to men from all corners of the globe for several hundred years now. This appeal has never faded though, and Chinese women are still seen as exotic and desirable now as they ever have been.
With a population of over 1.3 billion people the People’s Republic of China (PRC) has the largest population of any country in the world by quite a large margin.
With a population this size you’d probably imagine that China isn’t exactly a country in need of Western men looking to date Chinese women, but nothing could be further from the truth.
In fact of the 600 million women living here, there are plenty of single, beautiful and highly-desirable Chinese women looking for love.
What do you need to hear about Chinese women that you can’t learn with your eyes? These slim, shy and utterly beautiful women are lusted after by men from every other country on the planet, and envied by women everywhere too.
In addition to being naturally beautiful you’ll also find that Chinese women are highly-educated and very work oriented. This is actually less of a personal choice and more of a cultural phenomenon – the Chinese economy simply demands this.
A fascinating issue that Chinese girls face, as they grow older, is that Chinese men are increasingly shunning unmarried Chinese women in their late 20s – they’re literally left on the shelf no matter how stunningly beautiful, educated or financially secure they are.
You see Chinese women tend to earn more than most Chinese men, which obviously makes these same Chinese guys feel pretty insecure. And many Chinese women are highly educated so that puts yet more pressure on the guys, who are intimidated by these intelligent women.
What this means for European, Canadian and American men is that there are literally millions of stunning, intelligent, affluent young women in China who are literally dying to be romanced by a man who really cares about them.
Chinese women won’t care what your personal worth is – they have their own wealth – they’ll only care about how you treat them instead.
What Chinese women also love about western guys is that they don’t expect them to follow the ancient Chinese tradition of obeying her father, obeying her husband and then obeying her sons.
Just remember that Chinese women aren’t the submissive, doting flowers as might be portrayed in the movies, or on some dating sites, – they are loyal and faithful to a fault, but never emotional doormats.
Languages your girl might speak
There are two different variants of Chinese spoken in China: Mandarin and Cantonese. Mandarin is the most popular language, with at least 70% of the population speaking it – everyone else speaks Cantonese.
If you plan on learning conversational Chinese before traveling there it’s worth mentioning that Chinese is one of the most difficult languages to learn, period.
With that being said there’s no harm in learning to speak the native language – especially if you intend marrying a Chinese girl!
Religion and faith with Chinese girls
Because China is a single party, Communist country religion here has to be officially approved. Generally speaking religion in China is a mix of Buddhism and Taoism, with some Christianity mixed in. The most recent surveys found that at little over 30% of the population of the country would regard themselves as being religious to any extent.
China – The Country
With a culture dating back thousands of years, China has often been credited as being the cradle of civilization. The country itself is the second largest in the world, but the population is slowly decreasing because of a very strict birth control policy where parents were encouraged to only raise male children.
This means that there’s now a gender gap emerging in China which will see the population of the country reduced by around 100 million people by 2050, if not sooner.
In terms of visiting the country it’s extremely safe for foreigners to do so, although you do need to watch out for two of the most popular scams when you get here.
In the ‘tea house’ scam a beautiful girl will ask you to bring her for tea, and then you get a bill for hundreds of dollars. The ‘art student’ scam involves you being forced/guilted into paying large amounts of cash for worthless pictures being sold by ‘starving’ art students.
Chinese women are more than happy to marry Western men, if for no other reason than they have a more modern outlook on life, and don’t share the outdated ultra-traditional views of most Chinese men.
There are no cultural barriers to marrying a Chinese bride – the only real barrier is language, and with a highly-educated Chinese girl you can expect her to be able to speak at least some English.
Just bear in mind that most Chinese women are from single-child families, so can be a little bit spoiled.
Getting To China
China is, quite obviously, a truly massive country so you may need to use one of several airports to reach it. Hong Kong, Shanghai and Beijing are the primary airports for international arrivals, and you’ll find them served by most of the world’s major airlines.
Asian women have always been popular on the international dating scene, but with hundreds of millions of women you can be sure you’ll find at least a few single ladies for you to woo.