Girls from the Philippines are best represented on the media as only lying on the extreme ends of the spectrum – they are either really sweet and courteous or so nasty, toxic and mean you can barely sit in the same room with them without choking.
In my experience, however, Filipina girls are not exactly what you’d expect if all your knowledge of them is from watching soaps.
Not all their lives are filled with endless drama and not every girl is stuck in some sort of love triangle with a man that doesn’t love her enough.
In fact, it’s the exact opposite. I was treated to a lot of hospitality when I went to visit an old friend who thought he’d show me the ropes of what life is like over there.
Let me tell you, those girls know how to treat a guy to a night out, and are even better to have around the home.
They can cook, are amazing moms and really prudent. I’ve got to say, ‘impressed’ would be an incredible understatement.
Anyway, enough about that. While there, here are a few things I picked up about dating a Pinay and how to get used to how crazy different everything is there from back home (I’m from Canada)
Here are my top 10 tips for dating a Filipina:
Keep yourself clean
This may come off as pretty basic advice for anyone in the dating game, but one of the biggest turn-offs Filipina women have is poor grooming.
Bad breath, any kind of body odor and unkempt hair are likely to have you categorized as one of the ‘bad ones’ (guys who think just because they are from the West can do anything they want and not have their social value go down).
Considering the country is an archipelago and perpetually experiences blood-boiling temperatures, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that they love to take lots of baths.
Freshen up and use come nice-smelling cologne while you’re at it. Proper presentation on the first date may be all you need to get that boat sailing.
Make friends with her family
Everyone thinks they are close with their family until they spend a week in the Philippines. They are raised from a very young age being taught that nothing should ever break the bond between a child and their parents.
Not only that, even the extended family may come into the mix once every while.
Relatives are supposed to help relatives, and if they think something is amiss somewhere, you can bet your ass you’re going to have a rough time.
Think of her family as allies in a war against literally everything else. Make friends with them and you’re one giant leap closer to sealing the deal.
Remember she’s very religious
The Philippines is considered one of the most religious countries in the world. Which, in the grand scheme of things won’t mean very much if you know the right kinds of places to visit – just take Brazil for example.
That aside, you will be very likely dating a devout Catholic woman if you ever get a girlfriend in the Philippines.
My good pal said something to me that stuck throughout my visit: there are only two topics that are out of bounds when you’re out drinking with your mates.
The first is politics (their politics is pretty strange if you’ve ever watched the news) and the other is religion. The same goes for your Filipina girlfriend.
If your views differ in terms of religion (at least political views can be kinda sorta ironed out), there’s almost no chance it’s going to work out.
Treat her as an equal
One reason I found visiting the Philippines such an eye-opening experience was because of how selective everyone was of what they want to believe.
Somehow, the same selectivity manages to permeate throughout the whole community and it’s something really hard to wrap your head around.
I say this because the Philippines is relatively developed and very Westernized. Despite all those clips you see all over the internet of the politicians bashing on the West, the social demographics wish to say otherwise.
Now, this is relevant because, despite all their love for Western culture, something that has absolutely failed to take off for whatever reason is feminism.
Not the regular treat women as equal feminism – that’s actually encouraged – but the man-bashing, women don’t need to do this or that kind of feminism.
That said, Filipina women love to be treated as equals. She’s not a play-thing you summon when you want sex or food (or she could be if you’re into that).
Make her dinner once in a while – she’ll love the surprise.
Be the dominant one
That said, the main factor that makes Filipinas such excellent wives is the fact that they are submissive towards their husbands.
They listen to what he has to say and serves him in any way she needs to. They generally accept that the man is the head of the household, and will most often be the breadwinner.
Along with the previous point, however, there are boundaries to what you can and can’t do to or with a Filipina.
Unfaithfulness is a no-no and abusiveness is almost unspeakably nope. They can be quite fiery themselves, so don’t be tempted to treat her wrong.
She knows her worth and is willing to fight to ensure she’s not used.
Always bring a gift
Speaking of surprises! On the first date, never ever ever show up empty-handed unless you’ve got enough charisma to make Leonardo DiCaprio look like the Grinch.
Nothing makes a better ice breaker than chocolate or just as sweet.
Flowers could work too, but, you know what they say – can’t eat flowers, can you? In the end, though, it’s the gesture that counts. Do something that shows you think she’s worth the time, effort and money.
My advice – definitely do chocolate. Ice cream is even better, but that only works if you’re on a date outside.
Don’t be shocked if she brings company
This is kind of a weird one for anyone who’s never spent any time in the Philippines.
Oh, by the way, before you go out of your way marrying a Filipina and all, you might need to spend a few weeks with her in her home country just to get in the groove of things.
Anyway, back to the whole culture conflict thing.
When you take a girl out, she will often be accompanied by a (likely male) chaperone.
Reasons for which are beyond the scope of this article, but it happens. Get used to it.
This is a situation that needs proper assessment. On the one hand, if it’s a real chaperone, you’ll really need to be at your best because a report is going to get back to the people at home.
On the other hand, it could just be a friend of hers making use of a free meal when she can get one.
If someone does stick around, it’s common courtesy to hand the joyrider, ahem, chaperone some cash to take back to the family.
Make sure it’s in full view of your date, of course.
Don’t be too touchy
I’ve mentioned that the Philippines is a pretty conservative country before so it doesn’t bear mentioning anymore.
If you play your cards right, it’s possible to get a girl to come home with you if that’s what you’re after, depending on the places you visit.
Do keep in mind that bar girls aren’t the perfect target for long-term relationships, though.
Anyway, don’t be too touchy with your girl. Philippine people are pretty judgemental about hugging, kissing, holding hands in public and that sort of thing, so don’t push it.
Besides which, she’s not going to let her guard down very fast (add the presence of a chaperone and things get complex pretty fast.)
What you two are up to in private is your own business, but if you’re out in public, it’s everyone’s.
Make a move!
One of the very first tips I was given when hanging out at a local bar (which makes me wonder why I put it at the end of this list) is that you should never assume any girl is too young, too pretty or too popular for you to give it a shot.
Filipina girls are surprisingly more open-minded than I would ever have expected.
It’s not an uncommon sight to see retirees hanging out with women who look like they could be supermodels every day in the Philippines.
Again, it’s a judgemental society, but the judgment is reserved for the locker room and private conversations with relatives at dinner.
It’s not like people will stop in the middle of the street just to stare.
Don’t worry about communication
There was not a single store I went to where they didn’t serve me in English.
My first attempt at speaking Filipino (yeah, I didn’t bother to learn a word and walked around with a dictionary like a damned fool) ended so badly my cheeks turned red.
I attempted to read from the book and my pronunciation was so horrid, the guy felt sorry for me and told me English was okay.
Surprise surprise! Most of the country understands and speaks English. That girl you’re hitting on likely will, too.