Women from Russia are some of the most in-demand in the world of international dating. Russian girls are classy and if you want to pursue a mail order bride, Russia is the gold standard.
This should be immediately apparent due to the number of sites dedicated solely to meeting and getting married to Russian women and the sheer number of advice columns centered around the same.
If you’ve ever talked to
The not-so-surprising fact of the matter is the majority of foreigners get into the game completely clueless. They have no idea what they should say to Russian women and even less ideas of how to behave around them.
Having witnessed a lot of these blunders (and been part of them in my junior days), here are some vital tips on how to approach dating a Russian woman.
1. Know (and Be) What She’s Looking for
Russian women are very particular about the kind of men they date. Having been around Russian men their whole lives, that’s naturally the kind of man they are most accustomed to.
Like most women, confidence is the most important thing in a man. It’s a sign of a strong personality. Often, guys push the limits of their confidence to the point of being aggressive. A man has to know what he wants and must be willing to commit to it.
Most Russians are brought up in highly patriarchal environments, too. For which reason, Russian women look for strong, serious men around whom they feel protected and safe.
The secret is to be able to balance out the emotional side and ‘manly’ side. Nobody wants to get into a relationship with an emotionless robot.
2. Be a Little Poetic
You don’t have to get down on your knees and recite a poem by Shakespeare to get her to fall in love with you. That would be a little bit awkward and strange for both parties. But educated Russian ladies do like being given a ‘unique’ complement once in a while. This takes a bit of imagination.
Russian girls love to be told about all the ways in which they are unique from other girls, rather than the unimaginative and generic compliments about her beauty or intelligence.
Little things like how much you love her hair, freckles, how she dresses or her sense of humor can go a long way. It’s not that she won’t appreciate your love for her smile, it’s just that something specific to her will go a whole lot further.
3. Getting Over the Culture Differences
One of the main obstacles you’re going to face while dating a Russian woman is getting over cultural differences. In particular, you will want to get used to speaking at least basic Russian. While learning the whole language isn’t exactly ideal because of how notoriously difficult it is to learn, knowing the basics will get you places.
You might be lucky enough to meet a woman who speaks English, because much of the younger generations has at least basic mastery of the same. Since they don’t use it much though, it might be pretty bad. Don’t laugh at her for it, by the way. If you do decide to speak to her in English, keep away from uncommon terms and colloquial phrases.
4. Pay Attention to How You Dress
Another thing that Russian girls really pay attention to is how you dress. With foreigners, the sad truth is that most of them barely put any effort into looking good. Some seem to believe that by virtue of being from the West, they are going to win all the girls they want.
Unless you’re in the 1% of the genetically gifted, you won’t have much luck with cargo pants, a vest, open shoes and nothing more.
You don’t have to start wearing fancy suits or looking fancy every minute of the day. Your clothes don’t even need to be
All that’s needed is for you to put a little effort into it. If you really want to push the boundaries, a well-fitting suit or a clean, well-ironed shirt, jeans and a blazer should do the trick.
5. Play the Gender Role Game
For the average joe in the West, traditional gender values aren’t something you’ve grown up with. Women, for the most part, are free to do what they want, as are men. However, this notion hasn’t gained as much traction in places like Ukraine and Russia.
Things have been taking rapid changes in recent years, but being a male in Russia means responsibilities like providing for the family and taking care of your woman.
The whole ‘a woman should be able to hold her own’ and ‘we should split the bill’ haven’t caught on as much. Lots of guys experiencing this for the first time feel like they are being used.
They feel like she only wants you to take care of her, but you have to remember that things work differently in other countries. It’s simply one of the cultural changes you will have to get yourself used to. If you’re already used to it or expect it, you’re in for a much better time.
6. Beware of The Scammers
There is no way we could go on without mentioning the elephant in the room – online scams. As it so happens, the most convenient way to meet Russian women today is via online services that claim to connect you with legitimate women abroad.
The trouble with this, of course, is that you have no real proof the person on the other end is real, or even worse, is actually a woman. To make it even worse, there’s no country more infamous for pulling scams like this like Russia.
The most distressing bit is that such sites are incredibly good at what they do. Most times, they do actually operate with real women with real identities. If the site has a video call feature, it should be pretty easy to tell they aren’t faking it by asking them to do stuff like place a phone on their head. However, once you get past that part, the real trouble begins.
The most obvious sign she is a scammer is if she constantly asks you to send her money and nothing else. When you ask if you can meet up with her, she will give all manner of excuses for not meeting with her.
There do exist a great deal of real sites that have been proven to work if you can’t afford to fly all the way to a new country, but living the experience makes a huge difference.
We have an article on Asian dating scams with a lot more in depth discussion. Though it was written for Asians, it will largely apply to Russian scams , as well.
7. Show You Are Interested in Her
You know how in the movies, Russians are usually portrayed as these hyper-nationalistic people with no greater cause in the world than to defend their country? Hollywood makes it a little bit extreme, but it should help to know that the Russians are incredibly proud of their country. Showing that you are interested in being part of that helps a lot.
Learning the local dialects is a good first step. Show that you’re interested in the food and the people. Let her do more talking than you do about things that interest her and ask about what life was like growing up in such a different environment.
Even better, you can never go wrong with talking about her family. If possible, meet them and get to know them better. What better way to show your interest than being part of the most important aspects of her life.
8. Being a Good Listener
Along with the previous point, you’ll need to do a lot less talking than you do listening. She’s going to have a lot to say, and while you definitely have a lot of interesting anecdotes to share with her, don’t interrupt her or try to talk over her. Let her do her thing.
Russian girls have brains to match their beauty and, as such, their conversation is likely to be pretty interesting.
9. On Being Dominant
Advice regarding how to handle a Russian lady with dominance in mind will differ depending on who you ask. On one hand, Russia does encourage a somewhat macho culture. Macho-ness won’t be as necessary as it is with Latin women, of course, but the man is expected to have his shit together.
Things like deciding where to eat and what to eat are almost entirely up to you. Indecisiveness is generally considered a feminine trait. As such, waffling will be a big turn-off.
10. Be Persistent
You know how in the
A woman is not supposed to text back too fast, not supposed to initiate conversations with guys and should always be the first to hang up, Anything otherwise makes her seem too easy. These are not necessarily signs of disinterest.
The trick, though, is knowing where to draw the line between being persistent and being creepy. As a rule of thumb, if you try three times and she says no at every juncture, back off and go try elsewhere. There are plenty of Russian women who will be interested in you.