What is a Mail Order Bride?
What is a mail order bride? Are there really mail order brides still? Are mail order brides for real?
If you were to take the term “mail order bride” literally you’d be forgiven for thinking you were going to order your future wife from some kind of catalog, waiting for her to turn up on your doorstep a few weeks later but mail order brides do not quite work that way.
The idea of mail order brides is probably far older than you think, dating back to the 1800s when American men and migrants were traveling west across the American frontier to follow tales of gold, vast tracts of land, and unlimited wealth.
Those who did make a success of themselves found that they had no women on the frontier to share their life with.
The frontier was a tough place to live, so very few women made the journey. The only choice left open to the frontiersmen was to write to women back east, doing their best to entice them to move to live with them.
These same men placed adverts in newspapers and local churches, with interested women sending them photographs. Letters would be traded between the couple, and, all going well, the woman would make the move to wherever her future husband happened to be living.
Times have moved on, and now the typical mail order bride advertises online to state that she’s looking for a husband, ideally from another country. This isn’t all that different to any online dating site, except the women have made their intentions clear: they’re not looking to date a local loser – they’re far more interested in dating a guy from the western world.
The modern concept of mail order brides involves emails, video chats, and usually an overseas trip or two to meet your potential soulmate in person.
But you’re probably not here for a history lesson – you want to meet women, right?
Why You Should Pursue a Foreign Bride
You Can Date (much) Younger Women
Being able to date younger women is one of the main reasons that men decide to pursue foreign women and there is nothing wrong with deciding to pursue a younger woman. It is natural and has probably gone on forever because men have always – generally – been tasked as the providers and protectors in a family.
Even after all of the feminist bunk in the last fifty years, 19% of American men are at least six years older than their wives. The same Census Bureau report shows that 7.4% of American men are at least ten years older than their wives.
Most men have no idea. more amazing is that, as good as it is for men to marry anyone, marriage is even more amazing for men when they marry younger women. Men who marry younger women tend to be happier, live longer, and earn more money. Another article suggests that men should marry the most intelligent young woman they can.
And it is much easier to court a young woman overseas. American and European women often are obsessed with starting their careers as quickly as possible. In Latin America, Asia, and Eastern Europe that concept has never taken hold.
And if you are a man who spent the first twenty or thirty years of your professional life building your career you will even be more in demand. Most foreign women really love a mature established man.
The modern lifestyle in the West has been tough on men too and often we work like mad for thirty years and wake up at fifty-two with a great career, a fat 401k, and a sudden realization that there has to be more to life. If that sounds like you then foreign women can be a real life saver.
These women want to meet older, established men who will treat them well. Many of them grow up in patriarchal societies where women are truly second class citizens and they like kind, generous men from the United States and Europe.
This means you don’t have to sell yourself to international women. You simply decided what sort of a woman you want to marry.
How To Marry a Beautiful, Intelligent Foreign Woman
Marrying a beautiful foreign woman is probably the best thing you could ever do for yourself. That is no joke. There is a huge body of scientific evidence that getting married is the best thing a man can do for his health, emotional wellness, and even his financial status.
But of course, it is not that simple.
If you’re like most men living in Western Europe, North America, and Australia you’ve probably grown very tired of the almost never-ending feminist criticism of everything male. It is annoying, and worse is that this attitude makes it incredibly difficult for men and women to see their need for one another and the true potential of deep loving relationship.
Being a man in the United States, Canada, or Australia is a lot more complicated today than it was fifty or a hundred years ago. And for the poor neutered men from Norway, Germany, or most of the rest of Europe it is even worse. Gender roles are complicated. Women like to claim they can do anything, but exactly what they expect.
So, like hundreds of thousands of other men you have decided to investigate the idea of looking overseas for women for marriage. The opportunities are available to you overseas in terms of finding a new girlfriend, and maybe even a woman you’d consider marrying are amazing.
A lot of possibilities that you might think are out of your reach might still be possible. Have you ever wanted to marry a bikini model, fitness trainer, or a sexy woman doctor?
Overseas, those aspirations are not silly. Dating the most beautiful, talented, intelligent woman you have ever met is not out of the question. You can set your sites on almost any sort of woman you have ever dreamed about, and, “NO!” it does not cost a fortune.
Yes, you might have to raise your game. But you should always be trying to raise your game regardless of where you are in life. You should try every day to be a better husband, father, son, and human being.
If going after a cool foreign woman makes you take stock of your life and live to your full potential then this little article was more than worth it.
Where to Meet Foreign Women
Fortunately for you, there are lots of ways for you to find the exotic partner of your dreams, many of which you can use from the comfort of your own home. We’re going to take a look at the best places for you to begin your international dating adventure.
International Dating Sites
These sites are the most popular and cost-effective way for western men to meet foreign women interested in finding the love of their life. Many dating sites feature women from Russia, Kazakhstan and elsewhere in Eastern Europe. But there are more and more sites appearing featuring potential brides from South America, the Philippines, and other exotic locations.
The issue is that there are so many international dating sites that it can be difficult to figure out which ones are worth your time and money. If you can get a word of mouth referral from somebody else this always helps but failing that you can check out our list of the best international dating sites.
Take a Romance Tour
If you’re a bit of a technophobe, or you’d simply prefer to meet women in person first, then you might want to take a look at signing up for a romance tour to the country of your choice. Romance tour operators organize what are basically overseas speed dating sessions, where a group of western men is introduced to dozens of single foreign women at a social event of some kind.
The average romance tour costs about $4,000, but that includes your flights, accommodation and your opportunity to meet dozens of beautiful women who are extremely interested in meeting a guy like you. How successful are romance tours in helping single guys find love? That’s all down to the quality of the agency you use.
Go Visit a Country Where the Women Chase You
You might not feel like a rock star right now as you sit reading this, but we can assure you that there are a number of countries around the world where you’ll feel like a celebrity from the moment you land, right up to the moment you leave.
Why? Well, it’s because western men have been brainwashed into thinking that it’s their sole function in life to chase women, to woo them, impress them and finally convince them to get married. As a man this means you have to do all the work, hoping that you made the right choice, and didn’t put all your effort into a three-legged mule. Western women understand that this is how the dating scene works there, so aren’t shy about treating men like crap.
Now, imagine flipping this scene on its head, waking up in a world where women actually put effort into meeting you, spending time with you, and doing their best to make you the most important part of their lives? Relax guys, you don’t need to wake up in an alternate reality for this to happen – you just need to travel to a country where men are valued, and in demand.
And lucky for you, we just so happen to have a list of the Top 10 countries where the women chase you. We call it…The Hot List.
If you take a look at Brazil, Costa Rica, Peru, Russia, Latvia, the Philippines, and China for example, you’ll find countries almost overflowing with single women who are family oriented, passionate, loyal, honest caring, and almost everything else you’ve ever wanted in a woman.
Plus, there’s the added bonus that they actually do want to meet you – they’ll go out of their way to do that.
Best Country To Meet Women For Marriage
What is the best country to meet foreign women for marriage? Well, some of it is subjective. But take a few minutes to consider logistics.
Latin America is an easy trip for most Americans in the Sun Belt states. From Florida, Texas, or Southern California it is only about a three flight to Costa Rica or Panama.
If you are going to Colombia or Venezuela it is still only about four hours, but after that it gets tough. From Houston to Buenos Aires is ten hours and a lot more from Chicago or New York.
Whether you live in North America, Western Europe, or Australia these numbers are hard to change. For American men Latin America is super convenient. Many European men can easily take the train to Ukraine and it is a shorter flight from Perth to Cebu in the Philippines than from Perth to Sydney.
Now, you might be thinking, “But I can put up with a few extra hours on an airplane to meet the woman I really want to meet!” Fair enough, but remember you are probably going to have to make at least two or three trips during the courting process.
If you marry a beautiful girl who lives twenty hours in the air from the nearest major airport to where you live you are probably going to have to visit her family at least every couple of years. Over time that adds up to a lot of extra time in an airplane and a lot of extra money.
Then take your language skills or lack thereof into consideration. If you happen to be a polyglot perhaps you already speak Spanish, Chinese, and Russian. (If so I am jealous.) But for most guys, the biggest hassle is the language gap.
That is one of the main reasons that the Philippines is such a popular destination, particularly for Americans, Australians, and British men. Nearly every woman in the Philippines speaks English or something that resembles English, so it saves a ton of time.
Regardless, unless you happen to be fluent, you should start studying the language of whatever country you are planning to visit. Yes, Google Translate and similar services make all of this easier today, but you still should try to learn some of the language. It will make it a lot easier to get around, but even more important, it shows the women you are interested in that you are willing to make a real effort for her.
If you are serious, you should never let a language barrier get in the way of romance and the simplest way to do that is to simply invest the time you need to in learning at least conversational Russian, Spanish, Portuguese, or whatever language is most commonly spoken in that part of the world.
There’s literally no excuse for not learning a foreign language these days, especially with apps like Duolingo, where you can learn a foreign language in as little as 10 minutes per day. If you’re not willing to invest 10 minutes per day in finding the woman of your dreams, then don’t be surprised when that doesn’t happen.
Plan Your Fact Finding Visit
Once you choose which country your future wife currently resides in, you then need to figure out how long your visit there will be. If you think the amount of time you spend in a country shouldn’t matter then you’ve obviously never visited someplace as vast as Ukraine, or the more sparsely populated countries of South America.
One of the best ways to do this is to take a romance tour. These tours are one of the best ways to meet a lot of foreign women in a short amount of time. The company that provides the service usually provides your food, lodging, and travel in the country.
Normally, you pay for your own flight and they hold parties where often hundreds of stunning ladies show up. It can really be a lot of fun and it is also usually not terribly expensive.
But if you really want to get to know the lay of the land and what the women of a given country are really like, then you need to spend at least two weeks in your country of choice. However, these trips are a lot more fun if you are learning the lay of the land from a beautiful native girl.
Become A Culture Ninja
A really important goal to set yourself is to fully understand and absorb any cultural differences that might exist between where you come from and the country you’re visiting.
People are people no matter where you are in the world, but the very last thing you want is to put your foot in your mouth because you didn’t understand that a Russian girl expects a kiss on the cheek on a first date and not a game of tonsil hockey. Or that the vast majority of Latinas will bring a friend or friends with them on their first date.
This isn’t because they’re afraid you’re some kind of sexual predator, but is more about their friends approving of you as a potential boyfriend.
Don’t Be A Jerk
Something else you need to be acutely aware of is the fact that foreign women won’t simply fall into your arms because you’re from North America or Western Europe. You might see yourself as a knight in shining armor, riding in to rescue them from a life of oppression and hard labor in the fields, but that’s not how things work in real life.
Any beautiful, intelligent foreign woman isn’t looking to be rescued – she’s simply looking for a man to fall in love with, and yes, one from a more developed country with better financial opportunities. But that doesn’t mean you get to treat her like some kind of indentured servant.
No matter what part of the world you’re in, women possess certain standards they’ll adhere to, both cultural and personal.
One really important piece of advice to share with you is that you never, ever try to use pickup artist techniques on foreign women. While this might have been popular 10 years ago, women all over the world are now completely familiar with what “negging” is and that you’re simply trying to manipulate them to get them to do what you want.
After all, do you really want to win a woman over by psychologically manipulating her, or you would you prefer to sack up, be a man, and sweep her off her feet in a way that doesn’t make you feel like taking a hot shower afterward?
Keep It Simple
You’ll find that keeping things simple works best when trying to woo a girl from another country, and by this we mean doing the obvious stuff like dressing well, behaving like a gentleman, not trying to get her into bed on the first date, and presenting her with little gifts when that is appropriate.
Basically, winning over a foreign girl is about doing the right things at the right times, and being consistent in your approach.
Obviously you need to keep your head on a swivel to avoid gold diggers and women who are only interested in using you to get a visa, but that’s usually just a case of understanding that if she looks too good to be true, and sounds too good to be true, then she probably is too good to be true.
Preparation really is the key to enjoying a greater level of success in your overseas dating efforts than the average guy – because the average guy will arrive in a foreign country with a level of expectancy that not only makes them look desperate but also entirely unattractive to the opposite sex.
Stay in Her Country or Bring Her Home?
The traditional model for international dating is as follows:
Boy meets foreign girl. Boy travels to meet girl. They fall in love. Girl then travels back to live with boy in his country of origin.
To be honest, this is still how international dating works for most guys, and if that’s what you’re happy with, then you go right ahead. It does make sense to build a life together on home turf with your new bride, where everything is more familiar.
You have access to a lifestyle and financial resources that she could never hope to have in her own country.
But then again, with the current economic climate in most western countries, do you really want to be where you’re living right now? Crime statistics are terrifying, there’s a new drug on the streets every other week, and then there’s the militarization of Europe and saber-rattling from China and Russia.
So, for right now you’re living the dream, but that dream might not provide the future you’re expecting.
Even outside of all the worries the world has right now, there are plenty of other reasons you might want to consider moving to your wife’s home country. If you look at the financial aspect of things you’ll find most countries like Thailand, Vietnam, the Philippines, and most countries in South America, are far cheaper to live in. So instead of needing $2,500 a month to pay for your rented apartment, you might only need to spend $500 instead.
Imagine living in a foreign country, enjoying the exact same quality of life you have right now, but where everything costs 50% – 75% less. You could literally squirrel away a few thousand dollars every month or two, without having to budget or cut back on anything.
Sure, that means finding a job in an overseas country that pays you the same salary you’re earning today, but you’d be surprised at just how often that’s possible.
We’ve seen people handed blank checks for relocating to a company’s overseas office – we’re talking rooftop apartment with a garden, staff to take care of you, and an expense budget that would make your eyes water.
Check out “The 4-Hour Work Week” if you want some motivation and inspiration for how you can make this lifestyle possible for you.
Mail Order Brides FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)
There are a lot of myths and bad info out there. I have talked to guys all over the world and as soon as they know that I run this blog and date these girls, myself, they always have a million questions. I love talking to these guys but I have noticed a common theme in the questions.
Since some of you might be shy to talk to me on a personal level, I am going to do my best to dispel the myths, clear the air and give you the low down on the questions people ask me the most.
If I am missing one, let me know. If it’s a common request, I will update this section and tell you everything I have experienced.
How Much Does a Mail Order Bride Cost?
This is probably the single biggest misconception around international dating – that there’s some kind of fee which changes hands, and then you select the woman of your dreams from a gigantic online vending machine. Nothing could be further from the truth, but that doesn’t mean finding a potential wife in a foreign country isn’t going to cost you anything.
If, for example, you jet off to Thailand on a romance tour, you’re going to drop about $3,000 on a trip that will last between 7 and 10 days. About $1,000 of that will be a fee to the tour company, but the rest will be made up of plane tickets, visas, hotel accommodation, taxis, food and dating money.
Prices for romance tours vary from one country to the next, but they’re rarely cheap. Just remember that with romance tours you tend to get what you pay for, so if the tour costs $250 you can imagine the quality of the women you’re going to be introduced to.
Your other option is to rely on international dating sites, where monthly membership fees vary between free and up to around $80 per month. All of the romancing work is going to be up to you, so the investment here is really in the time and effort you put in to find a few women that you want to travel to meet.
Just beware of any woman on a dating site who asks for money – it doesn’t matter what her reason is for asking, you’ve just met a professional con woman. We’ve seen guys fleeced for thousands of dollars because of a believable sob story, and then they have nothing to show for it except a pile of regret, and an empty bank account
The real cost of dating internationally is paying for your flights to and from international destinations, but if you plan your trip in advance you can save yourself a lot of money by booking your tickets wisely and allowing for one or two stopovers during your trip.
Your final expense will be arranging for your new girlfriend to move to North America, Europe or Australia to be with you. But then again, can you put a price on love?
What Should I Expect If I Marry a Mail Order Bride?
Dating internationally is no different to dating in your own country in that there’s the “honeymoon period” where you’ve just met, and you go through that entire time wearing rose-tinted glasses, seeing only the best in the other person.
The one huge difference with dating foreign women with a view to marriage is that you also have a couple of cultural barriers to overcome. It doesn’t matter how much you love this girl, you have to face the fact that you’re from different countries.
For most guys, the first hurdle they face is from within their own families, who aren’t always as accepting of an overseas bride as you might have hoped. Most of this is based on fear of the unknown, so once they meet your wife-to-be they can spend time getting to know her, discovering exactly what made you fall in love with her in the first place.
The actual marriage ceremony is something else to consider. Are you both Christian, or is she Buddhist, Protestant, pagan, atheist or something else? Does she believe in sex before marriage, or is that totally off limits until you’re officially hitched? These are all questions you need to ask yourself when you’re thinking about marrying a woman from a culture that is foreign to you.
Homesickness is something a lot of western guys forget about. Sure, she’s in love with you, but she’s uprooted herself and traveled several thousand miles to be with you. She’s left her entire family behind, her job, and all of her friends. That’s a tough thing to do, so maybe plan ahead for how you can make this easier on her when she finally moves to be with you?
Worried about there being a speedy marriage, but an even quicker divorce afterward? Don’t be – if you’ve paid attention to the information we’ve shared with you then you’ll have selected a girl who loves you for you, and nothing else.
Plus, most foreign brides don’t believe in getting divorced at the first sign that wedded life won’t be paved with gold and rose petals. In fact, they’re far more likely to work with you to make your marriage a success than any western woman.
How Do I Decide Which Country For A Mail Order Bride?
Which country has the very best women for marriage, or, to put it another way, where can you find the best pool of potential brides? Well, that largely depends on your personal biases.
So, how exactly do you go about doing this? The first thing you need to decide is the country of origin you prefer, for example, would you prefer to marry a white Eastern European girl, or would your personal preferences align more with a caramel-skinned South American beauty?
Think about what really turns you on. You get the idea, who is your fantasy girl?
Do you still stand in awe of the first time you ever saw Pamela Anderson running down the beach on Baywatch? Or would you do almost anything to spend a few hours with Penelope Cruz? Or maybe Ziyi Zhang from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon still makes you roar like the biggest engine on the Union Pacific.
Because if you widen the search for your perfect woman to the entire planet you vastly increase the chance of finding exactly the woman that turns you up and turns you on. That is the real wonder of international dating.
So, there’s no shame in either answer, so be honest with yourself here because you have absolutely nothing to lose. Just know that regardless of what country you choose there will be several dozen potential girlfriends for you there, as opposed to the current situation back home, which usually involves scraping the bottom of the dating barrel.
Do you like hot Latin women?
Or maybe you just want to marry a Russian model?
Those choices all depend on your internal desires and biases. All of us have slightly different tastes about what is really sexy and we also know that a successful relationship requires more than sexiness.
If you are looking for a mate, not a fling, you need to consider education, temperament, interests, and lifetime goals. Be honest about your situation.
Stop and really consider your finances. You do not have to be rich, but your finances need to be in order. Do not go and marry a beautiful woman from the far side of the world if you do not have a decent
Do you want to have kids?
Most foreign women want to have kids, but you still need to talk to the girls you date about this issue. On the other side if you are 59 and absolutely do not want to have kids you need to tell them that too.
A lot of foreign ladies will say they don’t want kids in the early stages of a romance with an older man who is not interested in children, but if no kids is a real deal-breaker you should ask about this over and over and over.
Be crystal clear.
However, if you believe you do not want to have kids you should consider the recent research that shows that older fathers tend to be better fathers. And it is one of the best things that you can do for your happiness.
But all of this is sort of getting the cart ahead of the horse. The first question is really, “What is the best country to meet women for marriage?”
Is It All About The Green Card?
Probably the biggest myth about mail order brides that’s done the rounds over the last few decades is that women from foreign countries are willing to say anything, do anything or marry anyone to get a visa to live in another country. But what most people overlook are things like the ratio of eligible men to women in foreign countries.
So just, for example, let’s take a common country people ask me about. Russia. Based on population diversity, Russian women should have no problem with finding an eligible male. That is until you look at the alcohol and substance abuse issues which plague Russian men aged between 18 and 40. Often the reason a foreign girl is looking for a husband from another country is that she can’t find the love of her life at home.
I am not going to say that no girl was ever looking for a visa. But then again, I can’t say that no girl in America was after a man’s money when she married him, either. There are bad girls out there so we want you to be educated and aware so you know what to look out for. But don’t fall into the ‘bitter trap’, thinking that a few bad girls you hear about in the news or a movie represent the majority of them.
Most of these girls want love and family and a stable life and, because of where they live now, they have a hard time finding that at home.
Do Marriages With Mail Order Brides Last?
Once people get over the idea that I’m actually dating a woman from a foreign country – a “mail order bride” – the next pearl of wisdom they’ll want to share with me is that marriages like that can never last. This is despite the fact that Asian, Eastern European and South American women are statistically far less likely to divorce their husbands than North American or European women.
The United States has a divorce rate of 53%, France is at 55%, Spain is at 61%, and the list goes on. So, are your friends the experts on successful marriages they think they are? We doubt it because we know that “mail order marriages” are far less likely to result in divorce. We’ve seen the proof of that.
If you look at the statistics on how many actual mail order brides, themselves, get divorced, it looks even better!
Reports and stats vary, of course, but, for example, The Center for Immigration Studies reports that 80% of mail order marriages last over the years.
Columbia University confirms that the divorce rate of mail order marriages is lower than the divorce rate in America.
Are All Dating Agencies Scams?
This is another sweeping statement that’s based on nothing more than sensationalist headlines in online tabloids, and probably from “dating experts” in online forums i.e. 38 year old virgins. It would be financial suicide for an international dating agency to go to all the trouble of setting up shop, make a few grand, and then vanish. Their real income is built by developing long-term relationships with local women and foreign men who want to be introduced to each other.
Scams do happen, but that’s only because some guy decided to believe promises that were too good to be true and went with some fly-by-night agency instead of one that’s been around and has a solid reputation.
Do I Have To Support Her Family?
This is probably the funniest myth we’ve come across over the years. This paints the horrific image that you’re going to wake up some morning to find your new wife’s mother, father, three aunts, four uncles, and seven nieces and nephews standing on your porch. The likelihood of this happening to you is right up there with winning the Lottery while getting struck by lightning, twice.
Most of the foreign women you meet will have a very close bond with their family, but most of them will barely be able to afford a ticket to visit you, never mind bring her whole family with her.
So, there you have it, the ‘Ultimate Guide to Mail Order Brides’. We hope you’ve enjoyed it, but if you think we’ve missed out on anything be sure to let us know with a comment below.
