Last Updated: Oct 4, 2018
So, you want to date younger women and many girls want to date an older man…so why does it seem so hard and unattainable? Age gap dating doesn’t happen much in the modern, western world but we are going to show you what the dating age rule is, when it applies and most importantly WHERE it applies.
Yes, there are quite a lot of articles on the internet about why guys date younger women and how they should do it, at what age they should be doing it, why older women don’t like us doing it and why younger women allow us to do it.
There are profound psychological discussions available if you want to read them and in some feminist-laden articles older guys get tagged with names like ‘creep’, ‘dirty old man’ and even ‘pedophiles’. But that’s denying the basic biologic reality that older man-younger woman relationships are natural and healthy.
The Ethics Of Dating Younger Women
The age gap rule for dating is pretty well known. “Half your age plus 7” is the standard for what the western world considers an acceptable age gap. And Psychology today investigated this rule and found that when it comes to marriage, men generally adhere to that rule. But…
When it comes to sexual fantasies, however, men have minimum age preferences that are younger than the rule would designate appropriate.
That suggests something interesting. You could read that as women of that age are not considered mature enough for a real relationship but, in my experience, it has a lot more to do with rules that society wants to impose on it’s members. These rules aren’t based on nature but rather, what a society thinks is productive for people, as a whole. Which is great for society but not necessarily appropriate for every man in that society. And that’s why not all cultures have the same rules.
Western folk are raised with a set of values, morals, ethical behavior, customs and traditions that make us look at age differences between sexes in an entirely different way to how it is viewed elsewhere (or even compared to different times in our own culture).
In fact, it would not be incorrect to say that the majority of the world’s population think very little of it. It’s mostly the western world that’s got hang ups about age gaps in relationships.
History Of Age Gap Dating
Since as far back as we can remember, older men have always dated younger women. The fact of the matter is that for men, the younger and more attractive, the more likely they are to want to date her. For women, the opposite stands true.
Whereas there are several outliers where older women date younger men, women are generally attracted to older, more (emotionally, sexually and financially) mature men.
According to a 2014 census survey, the average age difference in heterosexual couples is 2.3 years, with the man being older than the woman. Most men, however, would be comfortable dating younger women, with as many as 48% saying they would date a woman 10 years younger than them, and 60% saying they would generally prefer dating younger women.
Why Some Younger Women Want An Older Man
You’ve probably heard it before – ‘women mature faster than men.’ When this is said, it invariably refers to the fact that women are more likely to reach a point where their thoughts are settled and they get rid of all the mind-numbing insecurities that haunt us in your 20s. This is one of the main reasons women prefer to date guys older than them. Younger guys aren’t able to reach the same levels of emotional maturity as older guys.
This isn’t just for women with low income, it applies to successful young women who want a successful man that may be hard to find in their own age range. As relationship expert April Masini states:
“There are plenty of younger people who are a lot more mature than older men and women, and who are such go-getters that they’re more successful than people twice their age,” Masini said. “They’re more ready to date an older partner than you guessed.”
All you have to do is essentially nothing. Just act like you normally would, having learned all the things you have over time. Emotional maturity is one of the most essential ingredients of maintaining a stable and healthy relationship, after all.
What’s The ‘Right’ Age Difference In Dating?
Western countries are sadly a bit hypocritical about this. Don’t believe me? Well, if you’re famous or a millionaire/billionaire, then the rules of age don’t actually apply. Examples: Jerry Hall (59) just got engaged to Rupert Murdoch (84).Murdoch owns most media outlets so maybe that’s the reason it isn’t getting bad press.
Michael Douglas (71) is married to Catherine Zeta-Jones (46). Their relationship has had its ups and downs but they are still together. A Russian actor, Ivan Krasko (84) recently married Natalie Shevel (24), but in a country like Russia, that’s not necessarily going to raise the collective eyebrows of the public.
An acceptable age difference in western society would be about 5 – 10 years. In eastern Europe and most Asian countries, there is no unacceptable age gap! Young women find powerful men with strong personalities very attractive.
10 Benefits Of Dating Younger Women
FoxNews (yes, that FoxNews) gives us 5 direct benefits of dating younger women but I added 5 more that I have experienced:
- It’s easier to find a partner – More women, especially more women you find desirable, opens up more chances to find the right one.
- They make you feel younger – We adopt similar attitudes to our partners and if that attitude is young, vibrant and curious, it will rub off on you.
- Better sex – A younger partner, while being less experienced, will likely have more energy, more curiosity and better stamina in the bedroom.
- Good for the children – Younger women may be healthier and better able to bear healthy children, as well as having more energy to keep up with children.
- You may enjoy the power play – Many younger women that want an older man want an authority figure and you can be that for her, taking care of things in the old school traditional male role.
- A clean slate – We have all met women that have a lot of emotional baggage from many previous relationships and this is less of an issue with women that have had, well…less relationships.
- You can learn from her – Even though she may see you as a mentor, her world view is likely more current and modern than yours and you may get a fresh perspective.
- She’s probably open minded – We all get a little set in our ways as we get older but with a younger woman you are less likely to encounter resistance to new ideas, new hobbies and new travels.
- Keeping fit – Younger women are more likely to have more energy (and even time) to keep fit and, in turn, motivate and encourage you to keep fit, as well.
- Living longer – Keeping fit will help you live longer but in addition to that, older men dating younger women simply live longer, according to what the studies say.
Regarding that last point, you might be skeptical but it’s been back up by peer-reviewed data. A life span study from the NIH (National Institute of Health) concluded that:
Controlling for confounding factors such as education and wealth, results suggest that having a younger spouse is beneficial for men but detrimental for women, while having an older spouse is detrimental for both sexes.
How to Find a Younger Woman To Date
The internet has not only seemingly made the world a smaller place, but it has also opened up the possibility of relationships in other countries to everybody, and along with that knowledge has come the understanding of different cultures, standards and practices.
If you live in the USA, Canada, Australia or the UK, for example, trying to find a younger woman to date is extremely hard. Put simply, the mental acceptance of that age difference in a relationship is almost impossible to manage. If you, as a man of 50 plus, now divorced, want another relationship, to women of other countries you are still attractive, still handsome, still a catch.
If you go to an online dating site and search for countries in South America, Eastern Europe and SE Asia, you will find the women are actually looking for older guys.
Dating younger women on the internet
Online, younger women (and again, we are talking WOMEN, not girls, just to be painfully clear)…comes mostly in three flavors:
One-time flings, gold diggers and girls ready to settle down. Depending on your taste, any one of these groups should be relatively easy to come across and pursue.
The first two categories of women are the easiest to meet on the internet. They can be easily found on apps like OkCupid, Tinder and Bumble. Most times, they are completely oblivious of any kind of age difference in relationships.
They should also be relatively easy to weed out in the early stages of your search. Often times, nothing serious comes out of such relationships. Some of them do work out, but not as often as we are willing to admit.
The final category of women – those actively looking for someone to settle down and have not problem being in an older man younger woman relationship – are a bit harder to find. However, there do exist sites that offer mail order brides services.
The women registered on such websites do so for only one reason – to find a suitable suitor and get married. Any man in the market for dating a woman 20 years younger than he is should have a relatively easy time with the head start sites such as these give.
The Dating Merry Go Round
You can spend wasted years on western dating sites going out with women around the same age as you. Among the ones you date you will find some real gems.
Communication is good as well because you speak the same language. She has kids, you have kids, grandkids too, your friends, her friends, your work, her work, ailing parents maybe, but honestly, it feels like you’re heading back into a marriage from which you divorced recently. Is that what you want?
I have a friend who did that routine for 5 years after his divorce, he even shacked up with one of the women for a couple of years, until his children told him: “Dad, this woman is just like mum!” Oops! After that, he spent every holiday in SE Asia and never looked back.
Is It Your Money or Your Looks?
The answer to that? A bit of both at first but you can develop an online relationship and have very little money. You have to work at selling yourself, no different to what you would be trying to do at home.
Some guys, unfortunately, at the age of 50, look almost 70. Others might suffer from ill health, be overweight and have a negative self-image.
Hey guys, make an effort to take care of yourself, dress smart casual and be a confident, happier persona when looking for a younger woman.
She doesn’t want somebody that reminds her of her dad.
On the financial side, if you have a steady job, own or are paying off a home, drive a car, then to a young lady in a poor country you are thought of as being rich. But you don’t have to reveal any of that sort of information early in your relationship.
In fact, it’s better you don’t. Sure the woman is looking for better security and life than she might be currently experiencing, but being genuine, thoughtful and a bit of a romantic will get you there for the right reasons.
You don’t have to buy your way into a relationship. That said, if you WANT to buy your way into a relationship…
Age Gap Dating or Sugar Daddy Dating?
The modern internet era has not only seen the rise of internet dating and mail order brides, it’s added a new trick in the form of Sugar Daddy sites. This involves a wealthy individual, often an older man, paying for an introduction to a younger woman. Which is sort of true in all internet dating but in this case, he is paying it directly to the younger woman.
There was originally some controversy over whether this constituted prostitution but due to the woman not being required to have sex (or even guaranteeing a good date), the practice of Sugar daddy dating has become mainstream. The advantages of these sites in dating younger women is that they give you a starting point for the relationship which is often the hardest part, especially when looking specifically for a younger woman who wants to date an older man.
This is the short version but we also take a deeper look into Sugar Daddy dating.
Tips How To Act When Dating Younger Women
At age 55 plus, you are way past going to discos and clubs, listening to music turned up to 120 dB, smoking like a chimney and drinking alcohol all night. Well, at least, you should be.
Do you think your 25-year-old girlfriend wants to do those things? You might be surprised to find that all she wants is her man by her side and a quiet evening at home watching TV and relaxing after a home cooked dinner.
Even though your young thing might have been going to clubs before you met her, probably looking for a relationship, it doesn’t mean she wants to continue that lifestyle after you have won her heart.
She will look for you to be a steadying influence in her life, someone she can rely on, talk to, support her dreams and ambitions and allow her to look after you.
Don’t smother her
Guys who are all over their women with PDA (Public Displays of Affection), regardless of age, show signs of relationship insecurity.
You met her, you won her, you’re dating her, she’s young and pretty, and if she wants to hold your hand or link arms when you’re out walking or shopping, then fine.
If she wishes to go to the mall and meet friends for a coffee and a gossip, let her go. As a matter of fact, you should support her hobbies and interests otherwise, it might be you that feels smothered.
Your woman can get very jealous of you too. So if you have a pretty young girlfriend on your arm, don’t flirt with other women!
Be cool, be the confident mature man she desire
Watch your temper and don’t over react to things she might say and do. You’re supposed to be the mature one with a cool head.
She expects you to be firm and fair, a steadying influence in her life, not an ill-tempered hot head that has a short fuse. If she wanted that, she would be with some 20 year old guy with raging hormones and a lack of control.
She expects you to be in control. Always. That’s what she loves about dating an older man.
But still…have fun!
A lot of guys fail at this point. Being older and more mature doesn’t mean you can’t have any kind of fun. You don’t have to be a sports junkie (or any kind of junkie for that matter) in order to be fun.
Here, your best bet is all the life experiences you’ve had – from the seemingly extremely mundane to the adrenaline-inducing feeling of bungee jumping. If you’re not taking her out to a party, just share with her all the quirky, interesting, entertaining people you’ve met. Take her out on holiday – do anything that goes against the grain of what a normal day would normally be.
Doing all these things with her will excite her – who doesn’t love to be excited? This is especially in comparison with her peers who have nothing more than Netflix and Chill and maybe a few decent house parties to offer her. If she’s not into partying and going out, find out what she would rather do instead and try to fill that need however you can.
Let your experience win the day (and the date)
If you’re lucky enough to progress the relationship to the point you’re comfortable being intimate with each other, then you’re at an excellent position to seal the deal. When younger, you likely went through the – nothing is more important than the genitals. Minimal foreplay, stick it in there and you’re both done.
Some may call it selfishness, which it often is, but more times than not, it’s just a severe case of inexperience. Even worse so, he may last for less than the time it takes to get a rusty old VW started.
Having gone through all that, perhaps been with multiple partners and learnt a few tricks over the decades, you should show her what you’ve got. Use your hands, fingers, tongue, lips and touch her in parts of her body she didn’t know she could be touched. At the end of it all, once you’re both satisfied, she will come back begging for more and more – always.
Don’t try to buy her love
Being older, you’re obviously a lot more likely to have money than younger guys. For the most part, don’t try and use this as a leverage to buy her love. Depending on the kind of woman she it, she will just get offended and ignore you. Older guys are especially guilty of trying to buy a woman out, and when she turns the offer down, get abusive – or get abusive either way.
Sometimes, guys dating a younger woman feel a little insecure, like all they have to offer is money. But what’s more important is confidence and somewhere deep down you know that. Remember, these aren’t the chicks who ignored you in the west, these are girls who WANT to date and older guy. So just be the awesome older guy you truly are and you have nothing to worry about. If you are looking in the right place (more on that later!).
Sometimes, though, it depends on your older man younger woman relationship. Some of them are clearly defined as the woman being dependent on you, perhaps for sex in return. In this case, showering her with money and gifts is obviously on the table.
At the end of the day, it depends on the kind of relationship you want to have with your woman. Just remember, gold diggers don’t make for long, healthy relationships. They earned that title for a reason.
Trophy Girl or…?
You have to admit it. A guy in his late 50’s walking hand in hand with a foxy 24-year-old is going to feel pretty good about himself. And so he should. Try not to be too smug about it and don’t go showing her off to all your friends.
Their wives will be smoking under the collar and the other guys will probably be jealous. If you have grown up kids find the time to explain your feelings and relationship with your new love to them. Usually, your children will understand.
While it’s a common enough practice these days for older guys to have younger women from other countries, it’s still not favorably looked upon. Be happy in the knowledge that you have a beautiful young girlfriend and keep your personal life as private as you can.
Sex With The Younger Woman
Yes, we are going there! And you know you wanted us to, don’t lie. You probably even skipped down to this section, didn’t you? That’s natural! Your urges haven’t lessened a lot as you got older, but your ability has! Here’s some practical info about what you can do to make things happen between the sheets.
- She’s young, she’s lovely, she’s sexy. That all helps for you to rediscover your mojo that you may have thought went missing a few years earlier. You will be amazed.
- Stay fit and healthy. Too much alcohol, drugs and smoking are not going to help your body rise to the occasion. Being overweight is also an unhealthy option.
- Doing it more than once a day or perhaps 3 times a week might need some help. Those ‘Men’s Health’ medications work. There ARE some side effects. Check it out with your doctor before taking any pills.
- You will find your girlfriend is quite understanding if you explain any problems you might be having. Some women love the fact that you still want to be with them but it’s not all about sex.
Communication In Age Gap Relationships
This is so important. If English is not her native tongue, there are going to be misunderstandings. Idioms, daily expressions, the meaning of words, pronunciation, reading, body language and being romantic can all get lost in translation and can cause some tricky moments.
- Learn enough of her language to show her you care and also it helps you get around while in another country: taxis, restaurants, directions, shopping and emergencies require some basic knowledge.
- Don’t learn too much so you know what people are saying about you or that can get you involved in family arguments. A shrug of the shoulders is enough in those instances.
- Spend time teaching her English. It’s a better language for her future anyway.
It’s okay to read articles like this as it helps to build your awareness in circumstances that may arise when dating a younger girl. But, everybody is different. Personalities, health, attitudes and your outlook on life vary from one person to another. If you are motivated to go and find a younger girlfriend, by all means try it.
Just the chatting online and developing a relationship with somebody that is 20 – 30 years younger than you will rejuvenate you both physically and mentally. If you need some excitement in your life, pursuing a girl from another country is highly recommended. Good luck!
Dating Age Differences – List By Country
While age differences don’t matter a lot in other countries, there are limits that you might like to consider when you are looking for a younger partner online.
- Philippines: Anything from 10 – 40 years is okay.
- China: 10 – 15 years but there are cases of older guys having young girlfriends. It’s difficult to marry a young Chinese girl if you are older than her father.
- Vietnam: 10 – 25 years
- Thailand: 10 – 30 years
- South America: 10 – 25 years
- Eastern Europe: 15 – 25 years
These are guidelines only and there are variations depending on many different factors. In the Philippines I saw a 70-year-old man shuffling along in a shopping center. He could hardly walk, being helped by his young wife of about 22. They had a child in a pusher!
Best Countries To Date Younger Women
International dating is becoming more and more common in first world countries. Some countries are a lot more receptive to foreigners than others, for cultural reasons, so it’s worth doing a bit of legwork.
People from Western countries are often considered to be wealthy and decently well-off by default, with money either stashed away in savings or in assets. They are therefore usually considered the ultimate catch for women in poorer countries.
But with the changing tides the world is seeing in recent times, even extremely conservative countries like India are changing their views on things like marriage, despite the fact that a lot marriages that do happen are arranged.
Most of such countries are relatively well-renown for being destinations for sex tourism. This may seem like a big plus, but it also means if you’re looking for something serious, you might find yourself lost if you go in with no plan. If you’re looking for a long-term partner, you’d best stay away from the most popular tourist destinations. These are popular with women looking for nothing more than a quick fling.
All the same, it takes a bit of trial and error. You might not get it right on the first try, but keep chipping away at it.
Vietnam has been on a steady trend of economic growth over the last decade. However, it’s still one of the poorer countries in Asia. A factor that really helps the country stand out is the fact that it’s also one of the most friendly and welcoming countries in the world. Their culture encourages people to live together in harmony, so it’s very accepting of foreigners.
Despite their welcoming culture, women have been treated as second-class citizens for much of the country’s period of independence. Things are gradually, changing, but in more remote parts of the nation, the women are willing to do anything in order to escape the kinds of conditions that prevail, as long as they believe their lives will improve.
Age gap dating is therefore quite common in the country. It’s so common, in fact, that most people generally don’t have a problem with it. The only problem is the language – women living in the capital are more likely to know English, but not so for those living in rural areas.
Want more specifics? Great, we have a whole article on dating Vietnamese women.
Those that have been to Bali will tell you it’s the most beautiful place on Earth. Indonesia is quite lovely, as a matter of fact, and the cost of living is so low that most people that leave the US or UK to go live there find it an easy place to retire.
Indonesians are also very warm and friendly towards foreigners, and their culture encourages people to get married and settle down to continue the family lines. The biggest issue with the country as a whole is how ultra-conservative it is.
Aside from being patriarchal and treating women horrendously, there are a few laws that some people might find quite prohibiting. Among them is that people of different religions cannot get married – so you either have to convert or really learn how to pretend.
This means that getting a potential partner is one thing, getting married involves jumping through a few more hoops than you normally would. With a bit of luck, maybe you could convince her and her parents to get married abroad, instead.
Brazil is just as famous at attracting people from Europe and the Americas as countries like Indonesia. This is in part thanks to the carnival and the fact that their women are widely considered to be some of the most loose on the planet; which is not entirely false but has a hint of truth to it, at least for the most part.
Women in Brazil lie in a very closed spectrum, however. There are women that do not date foreign women at all, as a rule and those that do. Brazilian women are known for being very sweet talkers and have a love for partying that’s extremely hard for any other part of the world to match up.
They are also very sexually explorative, despite so much of the country being tied up in religion and the like, but this really depends on which part of the country you prefer to visit.
But you will need to lock one of these girls down before your friends see her, so here’s an in depth guide on Brazilian brides.
Ah, Russia. No other country in the world comes close to the same number of women looking for older men to date or marry. On the flip end, no country in the world is better at running scams and getting away with people’s money.
One way of making sure you don’t fall victim is to do due diligence. There are a number of sites that offer legitimate services but plenty others eat up your cash via translation services and chat hours for a person you never get to meet. If she asks for money before you meet in person, take it as a red flag and abort.
But Russian women are stunning, if you ever get the chance to meet them, and they are also readily available to Western men. Nowhere in the world is older men younger women dating more prevalent, after all.
And yes, we even have a great section on dating hot Russian women for you.
If you’ve been following world events, you likely know what the Russian government has been doing inside Ukraine. It’s almost impossible for us Westerners to know the full extent of the aftermath, but it has been a lot more turmoil and strife than most of us have ever experienced. For which reason, the number of women looking to leave has been on the rise.
The country doesn’t have a problem with older men younger women type relationships. The general dating age rule that they follow, and which you should also employ is half your age plus 7.
Meeting women from the country should not be a problem, granted you know the right sites to visit. Regarding language, Russian, Turkish and Ukranian are the most significant languages in the country. Knowing at least one puts you at an advantage.
We saved the best for last. The Ukraine is absolutely one of the best places to date a hot younger woman and don’t be scared by the terminology because Ukrainian Mail Order Brides are just as happy to chat, date, marry and make babies with you as any woman in the world.